| * As promised-for our readers- Here is a small section of "Origins of Elvis Mellon –vol# 1" Copyright. 2005 Part 1 chapters 1. The sleek but battered starship glided thru the asteroid field like Fred Astaire dancing with Ginger Rogers-flawless and graceful.. The craft was needle -like reminding one of the old Concord S.S.T with a dull off white paint job and the words painted in standard- '' Viking" across the side of its long pointed "nose cap." the inside of its "cockpit" looked like that of one of Earths old World War Two bombers a B-17 or B-24 and it had a "hotrod" feel to it with a pair of "fuzzy dice" hanging from a "rear view mirror" mounted above its "windshield." the pilot was a large "Behemoth' of a human male, Caucasian (white European-perhaps Irish) sitting in a "bucket seat. He sat back with his right hand on what looked like a "stick shift" his left on a small "half wheel" steering wheel. . He was dressed in green converse basketball sneakers faded blue jeans, a cream colored sport coat with one of those "flowery" Hawaiian shirts with "Stratocaster guitars instead of flowers. The shirt hid an impressive gut hanging over a black leather belt with a Harley Davidson belt buckle. He had a "3 day shadow" coming in-not quite a beard and long "Elvis Presley" style side burns and auburn hair with Elvis Presley haircut under an old fedora with a few medals and fishing lure’s hanging off of it. He pushed up his mirrored aviator sunglass's and blew smoke out of his nostrils from the filter less cigarette Hanging out of the side of his mouth, the cigarette ash was over an inch long. He calmly shifted gears and steering with his knee flicked ashes on the floor of the cockpit. A door slid open between the bucket seats and a small barrel shaped robot with a silver translucent dome came "rolling" in on tank treads and an arm extended from an opening in its side with a vacuum attachment and the ash’s disappeared as the pilot shifted in his chair and produced "flatulence”, the robot extended another arm with a "spray attachment" and sprayed the air with a type of odor remover. The pilot grinned and said "mmmmm cherry!" the little robot twittered and made bleeping sounds and a series of lights blinked in its dome. The pilot looked down at it and said "yeah, it would make a good weapon if they could bottle it, can I have a beer?" The little "bot" bleeped and a can of beer came out of its head, the bot opened the tab and the pilot took it and placed it in a cup holder on the dashboard. Outside thru the front "windshield"/view screen large asteroids danced and spun as the ship dodged them and the pilot turned a knob on the dashboard with an old style "radio tuner" with a needle that moved right to left as "stations" came and went . Many strange dialects and sounds came thru the speakers until he stopped it when the sound of the "Sex Pistols" and Johnny (Lydon) Rotten’s tattered vocal cords screamed "god save the queen" a voice came over his "this is Pete moss filing in for Elvis Mellon at non station K-L.S.D the rockinest place in he known universe broadcasting from zero to infinite on all bands sub light and beyond, That was the sex pistols with the late Syd Vicious and that goes out to the Queen mantis who called in earlier asking for some "egg laying music" to start her day"...and now here’s David Bowie with back up by john Lennon doing "space oddity" about Major Tom and that goes out to Vlaax Uuridrt of Sirius who faxed in "Pete I’m a shuttle pilot between the moons of Xxnar and Clampos and i need some quality music to relax me and this Earth music that Elvis brought us is just the ticket" The pilot in the battered ship turned the volume up as the door between the seats slid open and a chimpanzee wearing silver shorts and a silver cape and a beanie with a propeller on top of his head. He grinned and spoke (a device on a necklace around his neck transmitted his thoughts.. A rather "gravelly" Danny Devito ( voice Chimps don’t have vocal cords) "jeeeeeze you make me sick the way you fly!!" he climbed into the passenger seat and strapped himself in ."Beer-two how bout some suds?" the little bot produced a beer and gave it to the chimp who cracked it open and drank it down with one hand over his eyes. "Sedgwick relax already!! We are not going to hit anything" the pilot exclaimed The chimp belched "that’s what you always say Elvis, you ever look at all the dents on this thing?" the pilot was the before mentioned "Elvis Mellon" pirate radio station D j on non station K-L.S.D on his way to the radio station hidden amidst the asteroid field operating illegally , breaking many galactic confederation laws and offending many star faring races that didn’t understand what the music meant. As Elvis guzzled his beer a voice came over the speakers sounding like David Niven "Elvis two galactic patrol ships..."pigs" as you call them are in pursuit...shall I take over control?"..... Elvis looked to Sedgwick who refused to look forward at the spinning rocks they were missing by inches and the occasional "clunks" of the ones that didn’t miss...."let Virgil take over elv. He'll out fly em" Two small triangular crafts with blue and red lights screamed behind the Viking dodging rocks and debris. Elvis grabbed the wheel and pulled up with all his might the ship did a loop and came in behind the smaller ship as Sedgwick vomited his beer al over beer two who quickly vacuumed it off himself and the rest that floated in now zero gravity from Elvis’s maneuver..... The Viking shot a pencil thin beam that knocked the engines out of the patrol ships.....then a tractor beam in reverse repulsed them safely out of the asteroid field to safety.....they would be rescued eventually and the Viking disappeared back into the "belt" A huge asteroid came looming up that dwarfed the ship and the ship passed into it.....a holographic cloak shielded the real appearance of the asteroid where it had been drilled and bored out to install living quarters and space docks and hangers This was the hidden base of non station K-L.S.D a huge door slid open and the Viking flew in to an enormous hanger with other various sized ships parked haphazardly about. If any were to see from the outside the ship had simply disappeared into the rock. Thanks to the The holographic cloak. The huge asteroid named "Big Daddy" had huge windows and lights and pressure domes.\ The Viking flew into one of the opened Hangers and touched down... To be continued This has been a portion of "origins of Elvis Mellon vol. #1 " We hope you have enjoyed it. This and other books in the series will be available soon. The serialization of "Adventure's of Elvis Mellon " and "further adventures of Elvis Mellon: the Draco wars or how to get on Zors bad side" will be available soon. Don't t forget to order your Elvis Mellon coffee mugs ,bed sheets and toilet seat covers..... |
||||||||||
| FURTHUR EXCERPTS FROM THE ADVENTURES OF ELVIS MELLON |
||||||||||
| SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE |
||||||||||
| EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE |
||||||||||
| AN EXTRA SPECTACULAR SUPER SPECIAL BONUS EXCERPT |
||||||||||
| BACK TO WEBSITE |
||||||||||