Tales of Cabo Diablo –


Beef-Its what’s for dinner-

Part # 2 page # 2

Location- High above the Earth in orbit- Timeline -2007 a.d

The majestic star ship “Visigoth” hung in high orbit over the Earth
with its fanciful angular fins and spires refracting sun light on its
gleaming riveted metal body. No one could see it looking so pretty
because it was cloaked and invisible to all radar, sensor sweeps,
telescopes and any other means used by both the Earthlings and
those non Earth visitors- permeated or other wise by galactic
protocol –such as the Draco warship thinking its cloaks are hiding it
from the Plaedian Flagship Avatar commanded by Captain Ashtar of
the Galactic alliance or the others in the blockade fleet. The
earthlings weren’t aware of any of this except a few so informed by
their shadow government masters.

Smoky the large –“smoke-Gray” short haired North American house
cat wearing black rectangular reading glasses sat in front of his holo-
vid computer terminal –screen in his office next to the Visigoth
lounge. He was reading Mr. X’s latest transmission a request for

–“two drums, fifty gallons each, of Hydrochloric Acid, 31.5 percent.
Please insure it specifically arrives in two separate drums, and is
included with the next scheduled supply drop.
Further request of two additional humanoid perimeter personnel,
trained and outfitted with basic issue.Thank you and be sure to give
Elvis my warmest regards,
Mr. X."      

Smokey’s eyes rolled up a minute and he let out a sigh. “Jeeeeeezze-
they go thru more perimeter personnel and Chubacabras then Elvis
go’s through gallons of Jim Beam and bottles of Prozac.” He gazed
out the view port of the ship down at the blue and white planet with
its Oceans and white clouds and he could make out the outline of
Florida and Cuba and Puerto Rico and the little dot that was Cabo
Diablo. Smoky whom the natives called Mr. Smoky and had problems
with the fact that he was a cat and not only spoke perfect English
but every language on the planet all in a voice eerily like that of the
late comedian and actor Paul Lynde jumped off his chair and padded

out the swishing door to the lounge where he knew as sure as the
sun sets in the West on Earth that he would find Elvis Mellon sitting
at the bar with a drink in front of him and a smoke burning in the
ashtray. “Hey boss I think you should make another appearance
down on Cabo Diablo to show a little more Galactic alliance
presence.”  Elvis sat hunched over with his battered fedora pushed
up and his aviator sunglass’s  also pushed up under them and his
blue- slightly blood shot eyes half mast with his Gerry Garcia
designed tie with guitars on hanging partly in his big mug of what
ever concoction he was drinking today that looked dark green. His
cream colored sport coat had the sleeves pushed up and his t-shirt
had a picture of Charlie Chaplin on it.

He blinked and focused his eyes and looked down at the cat who
then jumped up on to the bar to be eye level with him. “They got Zik
down there and Colonel Sommo and 13 – they will fine.”
The cat winked at the holographic bar tender who still was in
Anthony Newley mode with white jacket and black bow tie. The
bartender brought him a tall bloody mary with a straw and a plate of
tuna . “Yeah…..a giant neurotic spider who scares the shit out of
everyone by his very appearance not to even mention that he talks
like Bob Newhart and a trigger happy ex- Green Beret turned ex
Black ops- now an ex patriot Earthling- ambassador and soldier of
Fortune for the Galactic alliance who keeps getting drunk with the
visiting time/space refugee’s and his protégé and aide- a defected
Gray cyborg clone who acts and dress’s like him and who also looks
just like the enemy extraterrestrial biological entities working for the
Draco—Yes fine representatives of the Galactic confederation.” Elvis
noticed his tie in his drink and smiled weakly and ringed it out and
downed his drink with a grimace and stubbed out his smoke.

“Why don’t you come with me?” The cat started purring and drained
his bloody mary and gobbled up the last of the tuna and licked the
plate “Deal!”

Location- Cabo Diablo – early summer on a sunny Tuesday afternoon.

Mr. X stood watching his men and some U.S Army grunts loading
two large 55 gallon drums onto the back of a jeep then he nodded for
the lead man of his to jump in and take them away. As the jeep sped
off down the sandy road into the thick jungle he saw a bright flash of
light to his left and in front of one of the Quonset huts set aside for
private sector scientific personnel to bunk he saw Elvis Mellon
holding a big Gray cat and a beer can of Narragansett beer. He had
on his standard rumpled cream sport coat and jeans and green
Converse basket ball sneakers and a Hawaiian flowered shirt and a
loosened tie with pictures of skulls and cross bones on it. He
grinned and staggered slightly dropping the cat that of course landed
on all fours and gracefully trotted out of his way as he staggered
towards X and lifted his hat in greetings “Hey X what’s shaking
bacon?” “Welcome back to Cabo Diablo my friend and hello Mr.

Mr. X had been around the world countless times and had seen a lot
of strange shit but a talking cat who could beat him at chess and
that huge spider that looked like it was made of rock candy or
diamonds and who could decapitate Draco or men in seconds with
his front mandibles and who bullets or laws rockets bounced off of
like rubber still freaked him out but he learned not to show it as
much. The cat was the more professional and business like of the
two.  Smoky walked next to Mr. X who was bringing them to his
office for a drink and a briefing on the front porch over looking the
sea. “I trust the new personnel and the drums of Hydrochloric acid
were sufficient?”
X nodded and took off his Panama hat to scratch his head. His
leather sandals kicked up sand as the 3 of them walked towards the
large tan building with the grass roof. “Yes ,  thank you and the
extra case of scotch and  Angus steaks were a welcomed surprise.”
Elvis stumbled along behind them “Lets break into a bottle of that
scotch and celebrate the afternoon.” The cat looked up at X “I knew
that was coming.” And they all laughed and climbed the 3 steps to
the open porch of X’s office that overlooked the clear blue waters and
the pounding surf.

Minutes later the 3 and a new arrival C.I.A agent Dirk McKinley the
islands latest C.I.A rep. a rather dashing young man of around 29,
30 of an Italian mother and Irish father wearing a dark  Navy blue
suit and shiny black government issue shoes and dark sunglass’s
and short cropped black hair and Elvis thought he looked a bit like a
young Robert Conrad who played Jim West in the show “Wild Wild
West” that Elvis loved as a kid and was now thinking about the co-
star Ross Martin as Artemis Gordon didn’t get the credit he deserved
when a voice interrupted his reverie.

“Elvis we had another security breach yesterday, that makes like 14
in two months! A reporter from the National inquirer- Illsa Larson.”
Elvis’s eyes widened and he almost dropped his tall glass of Single
malt 70 year old Highlands Scotch “Old Sheep shagger” “Illsa Larsen-
holy smokes that girl is a piece of ass, Where is she now in a holding
cell? Ide like hold some of that if you know what I mean” ( elbowing
agent Mckinley  who gave a polite smile ) X stood up and walked

towards the front of the porch looking out past the swaying palms to
the sun as it neared dusk and shone on the calm ocean like
shimmering glass. “Well funny you should say piece of ass because
…well….uhhh one of the Chubacabras got to her before my men
could and well….it wasn’t pretty.” Elvis stood up to and grabbed the
bottle of “Old Sheep Shagger” off the seat next to where X had been
sitting and he drank heartily from the bottle and wiped his mouth
with his sleeve and belched. “That’s too bad…..I was hoping we could
have…..interrogated her…..and done a cavity search…in case she
was carrying any spy gear or anything dangerous…for island

security of course!” They all nodded in agreement even the cat but
the cat had look of “yeah who are we kidding?’ “Well I hope the
Chubacabras at least enjoyed the meal.”  X hung his head low
“Unfortunately he ate one of her pumps and choked on it…..it was
Rollo.”  Elvis’s knee’s buckled and he had to hold onto the porch
railing for support “Rollo ( in a cracking and mournful voice )
“NOOOOOOO…Not Rollo ( wiping his eyes and cheeks of dropping
tears )  “He was one of my favorites! I raised him from a pup. I was
just playing fetch with him last time I was here”

A voice came from the right of the porch –a voice that sounded just
like Bob Newhart “I remember that day! You and Rollo were playing
fetch with that decapitated Draco head that yours truly cut off.”
Agent Dirk McKinley still flinched involuntarily when he saw the
extraterrestrial biological entity known as “ZIK”  -the giant crystal
spider that glittered and shimmered in the sunlight and had 20

rotating diamond like eyes the size of soft balls. Zik was with a dark
haired humanoid in a dark green military like uniform that said
“Galactic alliance” on a patch on the left breast of his jacket and he
had Colonel stripes and bars and knee high black boots and several
medals and dark glasses and Agent McKinley was reminded of Al
Pacino with

Graying temples and the man smoked a cigarette on a holder that
reminded him of the Penguin in the old 1960’s Batman tv show.
Behind the uniformed man was a small humanoid “Gray” the
infamous extratestrial biological entities with the large bulbous
heads and large insect like black shiny eyes and spindly little bodies.
This one had a uniform and boots identical to the Colonels except he
had the rank of LT. and he smoked a cigarette in a holder and kept
looking to the “Colonel” and mirroring his every move and gesture.
His gray pale bald head looked like a big Easter egg or Ostrich egg
and the sight of him and the giant spider next to the man in the

all standing by the porch and chatting happily with a friggin talking
cat and a giant of a man who swigged 70 year old scotch like it was
water and who laughed heartily and kept slapping and punching the
Agents arm was enough to make him want to run out into the water
and swim back to the States but he knew what was out there was
even worst then this freak show standing next to him. The cat
seemed to read his mind as he padded over to him and said in a low
voice “You do get used to it after a while……I would watch how much
valium you take with the scotch……you don’t want to pull a Karen
Ann Quinlan” The agent looked down at the large cat and found

something comforting about him and hesitantly reached out to pet
him. The cat arched his back towards the hand as if to say
“Pleeeeasseee”  and McKinley stroked his thick fur and felt suddenly
calm and at peace with this bizarre assignment he had been given.
Elvis was giving the Colonel a bear hug who was returning it and in a
deep gravely voice that made Danny Devito sound like a soprano
choir boy said “Goddammit son you’re a sight for sore eyes-  give me
a swig of that goddammed scotch!!” and Elvis handed him the bottle

as the huge spider rotated several eyes towards the two of them as
several other eyes rotated towards Smoky and the Agent and Mr X  
shuddered at the sight of that but got up his courage and stepped
closer to him and put a hand on one of the  spiders rock hard
smooth “knee joint's” as one might put a hand on a friends shoulder.
Several eyes rotated to the hand and then towards X and in a
friendly voice said “I never liked the National inquirer- they always
have stories about  Elvis Mellon sightings and Elvis Presley sightings
and once they even ran this bullshit story about how our Elvis was
seen staggering on the Great Wall of China with a Monstrous alien
spider! He wasn’t staggering and I certainly didn’t see any
monstrous alien spiders!!”  
        to be continued page # 2
This file is not intended to be viewed directly using a web browser. To create a viewable file, use the Preview in Browser or Publish to Yahoo! Web Hosting commands from within Yahoo! SiteBuilder.