PART # 9



Muffy and her Mother sat  in stunned silence,  watching the chaotic scene unfold on the
video monitor as loud explosions rocked the tower and made the stone walls  tremble .  They
heard the   mysterious Juggernaut shoot past the castle ,through the woods, setting them on
fire  as it hurtled like a Titan missile towards the ancient temple monument. The crackling of
machine gun fire and rocket projectiles flying from the front of the craft ,  exploding into the
crowd of monsters and creatures, sounded like it was right outside  of the room. Muffy knew
this was the  star ship she had been inside  and that Elvis Mellon and his crew had come to
deal with her Father. She felt conflicting emotions of loyalty and hate and felt responsible
for this now. Anastasia  sat  next to her  pouring a vile of red liquid  into her "Swiss Miss "
and wondered where her sister Gladys had gotten  off to.

At that very moment Gladys Dracul and Frankie sat up front in the “cockpit”/Bridge of the
Viking with Elvis Mellon as Virgil steered it right into the massive stone monument. The ship
slammed into the base of the temple with its wedge shaped battering ram and the whole
structure shook.   Chunks of stone and dust flew everywhere as  the ship set down on the
ground ,  its barrage of missiles and exploding projectiles continued and its  laser cannons
picked off   the hooded figures a top the Ziggurat. A huge crowd of Werewolves, Vampires,
Mummies, Ghouls, Zombies, Ghosts, etc swarmed the Black ship but were quickly  repelled
or disintegrated by some kind of force shield that zapped them like one of those Insect
Siegfried held his ground despite the laser bolts whizzing by  and stood with his Father and
Father in law as Uncle Eric ran down the steps and into the fray. As long as they didn’t
reach the altar and disturb what Siegfried was about to do,  he didn’t care what happened
below. Soon it wouldn’t matter anyway and all who  opposed him and his family would be
destroyed! He watched the glimmer of the comet as it approached and then looked down to
see his private security force (those that were left…) emerging  from hiding  places around the
clearing and firing back at  the attacking craft. Siegfried nodded for one of his servants to
bring the remaining three virgins, naked and in chains –up to the summit of the temple, by the

altar. He would sacrifice them and fill the stein with their blood as the light of the passing
comet was caught and intensified by the special lens of ancient quartz that he placed over it.
The quartz lens  was another holy relic he  found in the ruins of Babylon and at the precise
moment of the mingling of the virgins blood and the comets light-when he would speak the
Words of power from the sacred text, the portal to the void would open and the Old Ones
would rise up into this world and with them he would conquer the world and rule in eternal
night, bringing Hell on Earth. Five more minutes and Elvis Mellon’s attack would be futile.

Eric Frankenstein reached the bottom steps and plunged into the scattering crowd as his
nephew’s men exchanged fire with the enemy ship.  Monsters and ghouls howled and spirits
wailed as over
 fifty  men in black uniforms came rushing across the clearing, dodging Vampires
and Werewolves who were running  towards the marauding craft despite the front waves of
assault being decimated.  Eric drew his Luger and shouted commands at the private soldiers
as the black ship kept firing rounds into the crowd. White light flashed to the backs of the
rushing troops and a huge spider appeared, glittering in the firelight. Muffy and Anastasia
watched from their safe refuge as the monstrous, tremendous spider waded into the
scattering monsters and men, moving

Like lightning as it decapitating them and tore them to shreds. Bullets and projectiles
bounced off its crystalline exterior with out leaving a mark. Vampires broke their fangs trying
to bite it as did   Werewolves and zombies.  The human security force were shocked to hear
the spider cursing and talking as it hacked its attackers to pieces
.  "You bastards asked for
it, I didnt want to have to kill you BUT NOOOO, you just had to attack me and scream
and howl and act like assholes ! Well, now look what your making me do!! "   Another flash of
light deposited a green, hairy giant that immediately started punching and kicking his
attackers and throwing them off him like they were rag dolls.  It occasionally bent over and let
out horrible flatulence that made even the ghosts back away.
Siegfried took time to look down at the battle below   as he prepared the naked, shivering ,
young virgins for sacrifice. They were drugged so they would not bother him with their crying
and he forced himself to ignore their lithe, comely young bodies and reminded himself that he
would have any women he wanted when he was ruler of the world and then he would throw his
wife to the Werewolves or let Cuthulu deal with her. The sounds of gun fire explosions  and
screams woke him from his reverie and he chained the virgins down to the altar where he would
spilt them open and behead them. The comet was drawing closer to its zenith, faint but visible
and soon the light would be focused  through the lens of Babel.

Eric was running through the chaos of flames, bodies, his security forces, supernatural
beings, explosions, etc and he was shooting at the green giant but the bullets were bouncing
off some kind of shielding. Bright lights flashed again and a man in an old army coat and a
baseball cap appeared, holding some kind of combination laser rifle and  automatic weapon,
firing at anything that moved while smoking a Salem cigarette. Several more flashes brought
a taller man in a floppy hat and a long scarf next to an alien with a big head! They both had
strange weapons that looked like rapid fire crossbows and Eric realized
They were shooting Holly stakes at Vampires and both were deadly shots. Vampires were
going down left and right   in geysers of blood as the spider chopped up Werewolves and
zombies and heads flew everywhere. The Vampires were going crazy with all that blood being
pumped and sprayed all over and they were Turing on themselves and attacking the
Werewolves who in turn were eating them. X stood next to Doc. Sax and
Thirteen  , picking
off the Night creatures  with precision and shaking his head
.  “This is some crazy shit!! When
Elvis asked if I wanted a break from Cabo Diablo I pictured  brandy, cigars and buxom girls
named Heidi waiting on us as we played black jack on some floating Lake Superior casino
boat, NOT in a fight to the death with friggin Vampires and Werewolves!”  The Doc. –who
was not a man of many words, nodded
.  “Well for Elvis THIS IS a vacation!!” X nodded
back grimly and then grinned as they closed ranks to meet up with Zik.

Eric had to get off the Island and find more virgins or raid the castle staff again  before he
regressed to
age one hundred and twenty seven ! He turned to run to the castle when
another blinding flash came and Elvis Mellon and Colonel T.P Sommo were standing in
front of him and  both armed to the teeth with laser rifles  and other implements of
destruction slung over their shoulders or hanging from them and at their feet was a large gray
house cat  with dilated pupils , wearing glasses with a laws rocket launcher strapped to its
back.  Elvis Mellon grinned and winked - “Going somewhere Nazi boy?”
Eric Von Frankenstein turned red and then white - “SIE ZWEI? WIE IST


He fired point blank at them but the bullets just ricocheted off and he threw his gun at the
cat  -who jumped out of its way as Eric  ran. Something wrapped around his ankles and he fell
into the grass,rolling  over to find the spider on top of him spraying web as strong as steel
cables around his legs and wrists as its many legs impaled and slashed any one or anything
that got to close to it. Elvis Mellon leaned over the now aging  Nazi with a Martini glass in
one hand and laser assault rifle in the other. “Hey - WAIT A MINUTE!!?  I recognize
you!!??  You look like
That Crout from Hitler’s back stage party at the 1936 Munich Olympics! You got madder
then he did when I called him a gerk off and took his stein!! But you look much younger then
him?  (Looking to the Colonel and speaking into his watch while holding the Martini)
“Virgil, is this guy a time traveler or a clone er what?”  (Sound of static SHHHHHH)
“Elvis …vortex interfering…SHSHHHHHHH….electro-magnetic anomaly...
SHHHSHHHH disturbing ….HE’S
 one hundred and twenty seven   years old ....
SHSHHSHH... virgins blood… “SHHHHHHHH .....pineal gland …NEEDS
SERUM...killed thousands ... ”  Bullets whizzed by and shrapnel flew in the air around them
as    Elvis looked down at the now aging Nazi with contempt-  “Well, Herr  ...Frankenstein?
Your not getting better, your just getting older!!!
 Zik, bring him along.” Eric Von
Frankenstein thrashed like a fish on a hook “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  LET ME
GO!! You must let me go! Sie Schweine, töte ich Sie!”  

Elvis laughed and looked up to the top of the Ziggurat to see robed and hooded figures
with arms out stretched to the sky and the comet almost directly overhead.  He motioned for
the Colonel and Zik to follow him up as he blasted his way through the remaining security
and creatures as ghostly and spectral forms swirled about them as if trying to stop them.
Zik dragged Eric Frankenstein behind him mercilessly as bullets bounced off his diamond
hard body and flew everywhere. Elvis Mellon ran up the steps of the massive stone building,
laser Rifle in one hand and drink in the other ,  firing at the hooded figures above. Some fell

and others pulled guns from under their robes and returned fire as Colonel T.P Sommo, with
his cape flowing behind him   , drew his pistols and picked them off one by one. Siegfried
stood with Martin Frankenstein and Count Dracula,  as  Martin held open an old book    
Siegfried read aloud from  it and  Dracula held the  great Sword that had been placed on
the altar , over the necks of the naked virgins. On the ground, X, Doc. Sax,
  Thirteen and
Grond were kicking serious ass as the Viking continued to lay down heavy ordinance all
around the clearing and the flames and explosions could be seen and heard from the mainland.
Frankie and Gladys Dracul huddled together inside the lounge of the ship watching the
mayhem outside on the large holo vid screen.

Muffy and Anastasia had seen enough
and had grabbed their luggage and some extra cash
from the safe and were headed down the driveway to the docks where Igor and Renfield
waited to escort them to the Mainland. They looked through the burning woods at the
explosions and smoke and wondered if Siegfried and their other family members were even
alive at this point.

The comet was blazing directly overhead as Elvis, the Colonel and Zik ran up the steps with
Eric Von Frankenstein  dragging behind on Ziks webs, screaming and hitting the stone steps
with a continuous thud, while Siegfried read aloud from the book in Latin -
Dracula swung the sword down to cleave the necks
of the virgins when a flash of light almost blinded him and Siegfried saw  the young girls
Siegfried screamed like a lunatic and Dracula hissed and swung the sword at Elvis Mellon
who had reached the top step right as a beam of light from the comet, magnified by the Lens
of Babel, lit up the empty beer stein. Colonel T.P Sommo and Zik reached the platform as
well as Siegfried’s minions engaged them in a deadly shoot out and hand to hand combat.
The eerie green light emanating from the vortex/shaft intensified along with the almost
deafening sound of howling wind and wailing. The jewels upon the beer stein lit up like a
Christmas tree as  Elvis held his laser rifle by the barrel in his right hand , using  it like a club
as he dueled with Dracula and  In his left he held his precious Martini , sipping  it while
meeting  the swords blows with the “alien” metal of the laser barrel in a shower of sparks.
"So Count, you dont mind if I date your daughter Gladys , do you? " The Count Parried
and swung at Elvis's neck but he blocked it and  drove the Count back with an aggressive
series of blows. "Stay avay from my daughter!! "  Elvis grinned and stopped a moment to sip
his drink
. "TOO LATE!!"

Dracula growled and hissed and swung like a mad man but Elvis knocked the sword from his
hand and sent it clattering off the stones and through an open space on the metal latice work
holding the stein over the shaft. Colonel Sommo got the draw on the Count with a Holly
stake crossbow.  "Thanks T.P..." Elvis turned the laser rifle around and leveled it at

Siegfried threw the ancient book to his Father who was already running down the steps and
he pulled out a large dagger which  Elvis  deftly shot out of his hand. Zik was decapitating
the red and black robed disciples that tried to rush him and threw their bodies off the edge
of the temple roof .  The stein was blazing with light accompanied by a deep rumbling from
with in the shaft   and for a moment everyone stopped and looked.
Below on the ground X, Doc. Sax,
 Thirteen  and Grond stood amidst the  battle ground,  
strewn with heaps of bodies and awash in blood as fires smoldered everywhere. All of the

physical” being's , the ghosts and spirits now floated and flew around the vortex as though
swimming in a whirlpool and lightning crackled from the vortex in great blue arcs and smote the
great stone blocks of the monument. A horrible screeching ,  growling , hissing scream was
coming from deep in the shaft and getting louder.  Elvis looked over to Zik and the Colonel
with a look of  surprise as Smoky  made  it to the platform and padded over by Elvis’s feet.  
Siegfried smiled triumphantly

The stein was melting and smoking and the light was fading from the lens. “LOOKING
FOR THIS??!!” All heads turned to see Elvis Mellon as he drew the real beer stein out of  
the small day pack he was carrying on his back. Siegfried’s eyes bulged and his face went
white. All of his followers and security were either dead or tied up by Zik, The Colonel had
a pistol aimed at Siegfried’s head and a Holly stake cross bow aimed at Dracula’s heart  as
Zik pulled Eric Von Frankenstein up to his feet. Elvis Mellon pulled out a Pabst Blue
Ribbon from his jacket pocket and poured it into the stein along with the remainder of his
martini  and then added something from a flask and  took a big sip.
Siegfried lunged at Elvis
.  “YOU BASTARDDDDDD!!!!”  Elvis jumped out of his
way and Siegfried’s momentum took him right into the altar, where he knocked the chalice into
the fire and fell into it himself. He got up screaming and on fire and Elvis  kicked  him into the
now open shaft, the fake stein having caused the metal lattice work to melt as well.  The
sound of his screams could be heard getting fainter  and then  silent, followed by an
explosion of sparks and blue-ish green light from the now fading funnel of electro magnetic
energy.  Eric Von Frankenstein was aging rapidly and convulsing as Zik held him upright. He
was screaming in German and glaring at Elvis Mellon, who nodded to Zik; Zik picked him up
with two pinchered legs and threw him into the shaft as well.

“Bon Voyage, M#$%# F*&^ers!”  Elvis held his stein up and grinned as Dracula
transformed into a huge Bat and flew off into the night sky with the Colonel shooting both
the pistol and cross bow at him. “Get back here you blood drinking son of a bitch, I aint
through with you , Ya son of a whore !! God dammed freak show!!” The whole temple was
shaking and rumbling and Smoky shot down the steps yelling “We better get off this thing!!!”
with Elvis, Zik and the Colonel running for their lives down the steps  behind him (Elvis –of
course- NOT spilling a drop of booze….) The Viking lifted up and backed away from the
monument and set down again with a side hatch opening and a ramp extending with flood
lights shining onto the
Immediate area between the ship and the base of the Monument.  Gladys and Frankie stood
in the doorway watching with
Thirteen , Grond, Doc. Sax and X standing at the bottom of
the ramp, watching the temple as well. Elvis and the rest of them just made it to the bottom
when the whole huge building shook and moved and started to implode! The huge stone
blocks were being crushed to dust by an invisible force and the whole thing was being sucked
down into the swirling vortex of green light until it faded along with all of the ghosts and
specters being    pulled into it. Elvis Mellon stopped and turned to see all of the bodies ,
fires and debris from the battle being sucked down into the now gaping whole in the ground.
He looked down at the cat
.  “Well, I think our job is done here .Cuthulu didn’t make it
through, we got rid of “Frankenfink” and his crazy Nazi  Uncle   AND …( as he’s speaking
the huge hole in the ground fill’s itself in and all the fires are extinguished …)  AND    all is
right with the world.
 WELL, let me re-think that one!.....OH……YES….now AND NOW   
its Miller time!!  Smoky looked back up at his boss
. "Can I get this stupid thing off my back

Elvis reached down and unstrapped  the  rocket launcher and petted the cat .  X was wiping
sweat off his forehead with a red bandana and cleaning his aviator glasses-"I want quadruple
time and a half for this one!!! JEEEEEESSUS.....is THIS what you do all the time?? I
thought Cabo Diabklo was a freak show!!"  everyone laughed and Elvis handed X  the stein
and X drank heartily from it. "Well, X
, this was a little tamer and more boring then most of my
missions but it had its moments. The Galactic federation and the United States government
will com
pensate you handsomely when we get back to Cabo Diablo, but first we are taking a

few days R & R in Las Vegas......" (  sound of cheers from the crew and purring from  the
cat....)  Gladys came down the ramp with Frankie and Elvis took Gladys in his arms and  she
kissed him on the cheek-"My Hero....."  Anestasia , Muffy, Igor and Renfield came walking
from the direction of the castle. Muffy came running up to
Thirteen  and hugged him and
started crying. Anastasia looked like Gladys twin now that they were dressed in the same
"Elvira, Lily Munster" style of dress and make up , they hugged and then Gladys introduced
her to Elvis and the crew. "So your the son of a bitch who killed my husband and Uncle?"
Elvis looked uncomfortable for a moment and looked down
. "Yes...."  Anestasia  bared her
 and kissed him. " THANK YOU!!! I couldn't stand that asshole and his crazy
EPILOGUE:  The vortex remained semi active but the shaft was closed and the
supernatural forces that had been attracted to it were now gone. Count Dracula had
escaped and was rumored to have returned to the Carpathian Mountains where he opened
his own  theme park- Hotel and Casino with a thriving real estate business on the side. The
Monster married Anastasia and took over Frankenreich enterprises . Martin Frankenstein
was never found and was presumed lost until Virgins started disappearing near Detroit and it
was assumed he got a hold of Uncle Eric's  secret formula for anti aging  , but that’s another
story. Igor and Renfield were made CEO and President of the Frankenreich enterprises
research and development firm. Gladys Dracul started dating Merle Ferguson’s younger
brother but still keeps in touch with Elvis Mellon.   Merle and the Sheriff still talk about the
Halloween that Elvis Mellon and his crew of aliens and
  paramilitary odd balls saved their
town. Bears Tooth returned to normal and Elvis Mellon and his crew along  their guest X,
returned to their current assignment on Cabo Diablo after a short trip to Las Vegas for a
few days of fun, where Elvis Mellon sang a duet with Wayne Newton, gambled with  Donald
Trump  and then got thrown out of the Excalibur Hotel and Casino for public drunkenness
and lewdness.          
This file is not intended to be viewed directly using a web browser. To create a viewable file, use the Preview in Browser or Publish to Yahoo! Web Hosting commands from within Yahoo! SiteBuilder.