EPISODE # 11 ‘IT’S ABOUT TIME IT’S ABOUT SPACE.’
The "Ascendant' sat sipping his single malt scotch and Elvis noticed that no matter how much
"Robert" sipped it the level remained the same-a self filling glass. The Visigoth now was directly
over the "battlefield' where Colonel Sommo road his vintage "Triumph" across "settlers park"
with his armored Humvees close behind.
"Elvis how long have you and your "foolhardy" friend down there been engaged in this war
against the Draco?” Virgil asked. "Two years?" Elvis looked confused and took his hat and
sunglasses off placing them in the hat and handing them to "beer-two's" extended pincer arm.
"Beer -two" produced a wet cloth from a hidden compartment and Elvis took it and wiped his
face and neck with it and ran his hand thru his thick hair messing the Elvis Presley doo he had
going... "Er was it 15?”... The Ascendant and Virgil looked at each other concerned. "How
long since you escaped the Greys and met Ovid?”... "32 years"... "What happened to the last 9
or 10 years?”... "Do you
remember Elvis? Elvis scratched his head... Looking scared "I was 42 and all the sudden I’m
53?”... "Virgil" stood up now morphing into "Terry Thomas" (* for our young and un attuned
readers "Terry Thomas" was a brilliant British comedian in the 50's, 60's with a huge gap in his
front teeth always playing the "gentleman" scoundrel/con man...) dear boy... You were aboard
Ovid’s ship the Tellapharon for almost 500 years before he brought you to Aqualaron... But
that’s besides the point-we have taught you about time... It’s all happening now... Past, present,
future... Linear time is an illusion... And the timelines... we have told you there are an infinite
amount of timelines-multiverse’s Some identical to yours... Some not... Well you shouldn’t be
in this one with an intergalactic war ravaging the planet... Your other self from this one and
you... Have switched... As have we... We are your timelines Virgil and Ascendant... It’s
rather complicated... But the Draco and Greys have as you say, "done a number on you"... We
must unscramble all this and set things right... There will still be a war and the earth still had a
cataclysm in 2012... But you hadn’t even been near that yet... We must get you to go back.
Tell me what you remember about stepping thru the stargate into the hold of the grays ship.
EPISODE 12 # STILL ABOUT TIME STILL ABOUT SPACE
Elvis looked out at the scene of mayhem below as Virgil said "let’s put your memories up on the
viewer so we can all see it. A large projection screen slid out of the wall covering the huge bay
window. A door slid open across the "stateroom" near the old organ with its many pipes... Just
like 'Captain Nemo’s"... A very large almost "VW bug" (Volkswagen) sized creature -resembling
a spider with double the "legs" with a round abdomen and at least 20 eyes... Looking as though
it was carved out of amethyst crystal... Actually translucent a sort of violet tinge... It scuttled
across the room towards the "humanoids" "wait I don’t want to miss this!” Its voice rather
squeaky as thought thru a translator. Elvis smiled and made introductions
"Zik- captain of the Visigoth and drummer in my band, from the planet
"xxzisisidusdfunsncxnmcnm" or as I like to call it "Zak"... Zik from Zak... This is uhh... The
"Ascendant"... The super evolved race I told you about built the world arc ships and Ovid and
Virgil”. I never did catch your name?” The Ascendant bowed and said "call me... "Woody'...
Zik bowed and offered several long pincher tipped appendages "an honor.. I was getting bored
down below in the holo suites. The rest of the crew will be up later”.
(The rest of the "crew" consisted of several robots of various shapes and sizes, several
chimpanzees who had the ability of speech thanks to Virgil, a large German shepherd and a
smaller red setter. A few cats and a very human like android that was quick to point out that he
wasn’t a robot or a cyborg but an android...)
The lights dimmed and "beer-two" passed out bowls of peanuts and pop corn and it handed Zik
this large canister of some kind of gas that it stored in its bottom half.
Elvis started his "narrative". I fell thru that portal/stargate and thought I was falling down
another mineshaft!! All the sudden in standing in this dimly lit room with metal floors and walls
and these "aliens"... These Greys... Not the "Grey cyborg clones", Just the plain old "grays"...
The ones that... Shove metal instruments up yer ass!! I couldn’t believe I was actually standing
aboard some kind of spaceship with these big headed "things"... All the sudden I’m shot with
this drug in a dart and I’m waking up on a metal table. As Elvis speaks images as though from a
home video camera, a bit shaky and
sometimes blurry, then in focus, showed on the screen. The young slim 21 year old "Joe"...
Strapped to a table with large headed Grey aliens crowding around him with strange instruments
in their hands...)... My arms and legs strapped"... Zik was inhaling this bluish gas... He spoke
in gasps "get to the part where they try and read your mind and it overloads their equipment and
blows their engines and you escape!!”
"Thanks for ruining it for me" a rather deep voice from the shadows said "a large male
chimpanzee with silver shorts and a cape and a silver necklace (which allowed him to speak)
came up and patted Elvis on the back and held a hand out to "beer -two" who produced a can of
beer and handed to him. "I never saw this part before"... Uhh "Woody” member of the
Ascendant... Meet "Sedgwick" member of the "descendent" "heyyyy!!... Look who’s talking!!”
Sedgwick grinned at Elvis who grinned back and punched the chimps arm... Virgil looked at
them annoyed "I’m trying to watch this!!”
EPISODE 13 # AS JACKY MASON SAYS "TIME- SCHMIME"
The "Visigoth" majestically glided over the foothills of "Settlers Park" (though no one could see
it!) as Colonel Sommo former ex "special forces" and "black ops" agent turned militia man
survivalist -and now leader of "the Americans Peoples Republican Guard" -the closest thing
around Colorado to a real army since 2012 since the small pockets of army marine and navy are
on the "new" pacific coastline guarding against invaders... Of course President Schwartz nagger
runs things from the "bunker" but its all loose "broke up" pockets of civilization in between areas
of "wasteland" and chaos...
Colonel Sommo, former Eagle Scout and a big fan of the NRA, likes the word chaos and now he’
s about to show those gray cyborg clone bastards what solid food tastes like, He has heard they
eat some kind of bile in a test tube but he’s feeding them lead from his glock 10 and they are
scattering like ants to get out of his way. Their laser rifles don’t seem to be of any use against
the shielding Elvis’s ships computer gave him... And taught him how to use that fancy wrist
watch... He had slight indigestion from that "Draco burger" he had for lunch... It went down
good with a Budweiser... Thank god for replicator’s... This is what he
thought of as he jumped off his Triumph into the mayhem of Greys and wounded Draco trying to
get out of his way as his troops brought up the rear. Suddenly from above a huge shadow
appeared... It was the Visigoth!! Elvis’s ship was de cloaking right above the tree tops!! A cheer
went up from the ground troops as the last of Zor’s fighters were blasted out of the sky by
"Hector” The younger chimpanzee crewman of the Visigoth. While Elvis and his friends and
guests sat watching Elvis’s first adventures, and having a good time of it, Virgil had allowed
Hector to run things manually... And Hector was manning the guns... He liked guns... Colonel
Sommo had shown him how to fire all kinds of guns and he wasn’t going to let him down...
From high above the equator, Zor sat with his head in his... Claws... "I don’t want to look"...
Their wiping us out... Dammmmmm it, Elvis is winning again!!! And Zloook, Zor’s second in
command, ducked from the flying jar of pickled rat embryo’s that flew at his head. Zloook ran
out into the corridor as the doors sealed behind him. He looked at the guard with the visor over
his eyes and whispered "he's in one of his moods... Elvis's ship just showed up and wiped out the
chiefs assault troops.
to be continued...
EPISODE 14 "THE LAST BAR FIGHTER"...
Virgil stood behind Hector in a "gunnery bubble" on the lower outer decks of the Visigoth.
Hector the chimp from "Tellaraphon’s" equatorial rainforest habitat... A sprawling biosphere of
jungles where chimpanzees and many creatures from equatorial Africa had been rescued and
now lived in a near-paradise world without predators or enemies. Ovid and his assistants in
holographic and robotic form came among them and taught them things and helped them evolve
more so then chimps and great apes still on earth. Hector and Sedgwick were two of Ovid’s
"projects" who chose to leave their home for awhile and eventually fell in with the likes of Elvis
and Zik and Virgil, and later Colonel Sommo and others of Elvis Mellon’s friends.
Hector was strapped into his laser gun turret having just smoked the last of Zor’s fighters.
Virgil morphed into jack Nicholson one of his more frequent "incarnations" in a white suit with
sunglasses "ya know Hec, I do abhor death and violence, but those poor gray bastards were
clones and didn’t have much of a life! Born into test tubes... Brought up as worker/drone
slaves... They all look the same... They have no
personality... No fun, no pleasure... They choke down that protein crap for food... The Draco
breeds them like flies and they have no remorse about killing millions of them in the front lines
of their many wars... Your doing them a favor Hec... at least in oblivion they have some rest...
We have been taught to cherish all life but Zor has got to be stopped. His sister Vipra and her
new husband Zleeek are the hope of the Draco. They want peace, and they have become
vegetarians like the iguanas. Hector nodded "yeah that was a fun wedding”!!
Elvis and Zik really stirred things up with that Elvis Presley song "hunk of burnin love". I didn’t
know Elvis could dance like that!! Even the princess got up and danced!! Virgil/Jack took off his
sunglasses and wiped his eyes. "Yeahhhh Hec that was a fine moment." Now in awhile we'll go
down and meet with yer buddy “the Colonel" and his troops after they mop up the rest of Zor’s
ground troops. But now I’m also up stairs as we speak watching Elvis’s “home movies". (Yes
the beauty of being a holographic projection is
you can be many places at once... Virgil was still sitting next to Elvis telling him and Sedgwick
to shut up so he could pay attention to see how Elvis got out of an "abductor” ship at the young
and ignorant age of 19...) in the darkened state room Woody, Virgil, Zik, Elvis and Sedgwick sat
on chairs that "beer-two" kept bring from somewhere watching the screen as grays hooked up
some kind of electrodes to the young hippies head as he screamed and cursed, Then suddenly
got silent... then started laughing hysterically. The grays appeared nervous and stepped back...
Off screen a light shone in the darkened stateroom as Hector came in wearing his blue
jumpsuit. Beer-two produced a chair and a bottle of rolling rock (Hectors favorite).
Down below some of Colonel Sommo’s top squad rounded up gray cyborg clones and a few
Draco still alive, marching them towards a fenced in heavily guarded compound. Colonel
Sommo took a deep drag off a Marlboro and looked up at the great ship sitting above them. He
barked into his wrist watch "hey?? Virgil? Elvis? Get yer asses down here for a few cold ones
at a real bar... We’re almost done down here". Just then a ragged looking woman soldier in
khakis came up with a gray by the arm... "Sir this cyborg clone thing says he wants to switch
To be continued...
EPISODE 15... "LAST BAR FIGHTER CONTINUED"...
Elvis sat transfixed watching himself on this "movie screen", his much younger and slimmer self
from a "world away", a different moment in a far away time. He marveled at the strange life he
now lived aboard this ship when not back at "non station k-lsd" in the asteroid belt-his home of
many years, and Aqualaron the water world with many tropical islands in turquoise waters clear
like the Caribbean of his native earth. He had lived aboard the Visigoth on and off for 15 years
when out on missions and adventures. Now he sat with his "adopted" family consisting of a
holographic computer being, a giant crystal spider, two talking chimpanzee's a robot that
doubled as a beer cooler drink dispenser and a special guest who was so far advanced to them
all it was like "us" hanging out with an "amoebae".
He felt like he was in a movie theatre with the "warm blooded" organic beings eating popcorn
and sipping drinks and Virgil added the sound and "flicker" of an old style movie projector to
complete the illusion.
On the screen the scene panned in close to a now placid young "Joe" (later he would become
Elvis.) Smiling and laughing as the Greys checked instruments and exchanged looks... On one
of their screens you could see images flickering from Joe’s mind, and images that seemed to be
of earths past... Earlier
centuries... People in 16th century Europe clothing, in roman togas... In chain mail and
armor... "Woody" the Ascendant whispered to Virgil and Elvis "they were starting to tap into
your "akashic files"... You’re other lives... What you call your past lives... Though as we or
rather our cybernetic children explained... Lives happening simultaneously... The grays are
checking to see if your DNA... Your genetic bloodlines have ever been tampered with by their
kind... If you were ever abducted before... They did not expect to find any humans by that
stargate... They know you activated it.” Elvis looked puzzled "I didn’t activate
anything??!! It just came on and started humming and glowing." Woody smiled. "You activated
it with your thoughts, and that scares the shit out of the grays because they are not afraid of
many humans. Just those that have incredibly strong minds that can resist them, and that’s what
is happening now in this "scene". On the screen Joe looked at the closest gray and said "I see
thru your bullshit". I’m not in a "mental hospital"... You’re not Doctors... I’m not having a bad
acid trip... Your frigging aliens and I’m on a spaceship... And now I’ll show you what I’m
EPISODE 16 # "STILL THE LAST BAR FIGHTER (WE’RE GETTING TO THAT!”...
Up on the screen our young hero lay strapped to a table aboard a gray (as in gray skinned "'E.T’
s”"...) starship. Joe was being "mind raped" by these cold calculating "hive mind" beings who at
the moment were beginning to wish they hadn’t brought this particular "specimen" aboard but
since he was near the 40,000 year old stargate that hadn’t been activated or used in over 10,000
years... They let their curiosity and sense of superiority get the best of them. This human was
not behaving with in standard parameters. Joe had an extremely "vivid" imagination and a
photographic memory. This combination gave him the ability to let his mind wander and go
into a type of "gestalt” sort of meditation where you let your thoughts drift by unattached and in
his case it was not so much a "drift" as a "hurricane". As they tried to pry into his mind he
simply let them in...
The nearest gray to him clutched its own head and fell to the floor as arcs of blue electricity
leapt from the diodes implanted in Joe’s head to the instruments they were attached to. The
entire room was lit in explosions and smoke and sparks as their equipment overloaded and they
themselves were blown away by his thoughts... It was too much sensory input for them!! They
saw a collage of images shapes sounds colors words scenes dramas swirling about them...
Emotions they couldn’t comprehend and ones they couldn’t stand feeling... One by one they
collapsed and writhed on the floor as Joe sat up and pulled all the wires out of his head and
stepping over the twitching bodies shouted, "Exit stage right... Where’s the
escape hatch?”... The whole ship was going into some kind of "overload"... He ran down the
nearest corridor looking for any kind of "escape pod”, thinking of "c3po" and "artoo-detoo" in the
beginning of "star wars"... He saw what appeared to be such a door... A round opening into a
small round room, barely big enough for him to sit... Suddenly a gray was standing in his way
with one hand holding the side of its head. Joe could "hear" its thoughts in his own head; "who
are you??!!... What have you done to us???" The young and future Elvis knocked him out of the
way and said "you kidnap me and torture me and stick things in me and probe my mind and now
you’re mad because my brainwaves were too much for your
equipment? Where did you get it form "K -Mart"? He leapt into the round compartment and
started pushing buttons, next thing he knew he was looking out the small portal at space and the
pod he found was shot into space just in time for him to see the cigar shaped dull white craft
blow to bits hurling wreckage in all directions. Now he just had to wait and hope he didn’t get
picked up by something worse.
"Woody" leaned to Elvis and whispered... In the other timeline it was gray cyborg slavers who
grabbed you. In your timeline (the proper one), you belong in there are no cyborg clones. The
Draco work with some grays and they have enslaved them to an extent but they haven’t put
cybernetic implants into them or cloned them. In other timelines, you never found the stargate
and went back east and married and had children. In others you became a famous writer and
actor and in yet others you were a nobody". Elvis took a deep gulp of his scotch clinking ice
cubes... "a nobody'“? Woody nodded. “Yeah. You sit in front of a computer writing these
EPISODE 16 PART # 2...
The lights came on and the screen dimmed. The audience sat blinking their eyes... In Zik’s
case all 20... The chimps got off their chairs and stretched as a large German shepherd also
wearing a silver necklace came striding in like a small horse. He barked and then after a burst
of static a pleasant voice said, "what did I miss?” Hector petted the dogs back and introduced
Woody if he had met "Thor". Introductions were made and Virgil seemed to phase out for a
minute getting see thru then solid again... Head up as if looking at the ceiling... "Incoming
transmission from surface... Colonel Sommo requests our presence below for "kicking Zor’s ass
party"... All are welcomed...
Down on earth all over the planet the Plaedian who had brought their fleet and medical supplies,
food and weapons, but remained relatively un involved in the actual fighting, were actively taking
part in rounding up Draco and gray prisoners for transport to "rehabilitation colonies”. There
they would be treated fairly and given the chance to become productive members of the galactic
The tired looking "private" with her hair pulled back brought the spindly armed Grey cyborg in
front of Colonel Sommo. "Sir this prisoner wants asylum and wishes to speak with you” Colonel
Sommo removed his mirrored "foster grants" and stamped out his cigarette butt, squinting he
looked down at the small bald creature with the implants sticking out of its skull. "How do I
know this isn’t some kind of trick? The Draco control your every move, son... Hell they even
control your bowels!!” The pathetic looking
humanoid held his large bulbous head up and with guns trained on him slowly took his right arm
and reached up and pulled this long plastic and metal implant out of the side of his skull and
dropped it to the ground and stepped on it. "I am 13 and a half". '"Is that your age son"?? "No
sir that’s my name". "What’s the half for”??!! "I don’t know sir, some kind of Draco joke"...
Colonel Sommo smiled and offered the gray a Marlboro which it took in a shaky hand. "I didn’t
know those cold blooded bastards had a sense of humor”! 13 and a half gave a weak smile and
said, "They are bastards, sir"... All we ever
wanted is to be like you humans... To be individuals, to have families to eat solid food and go to
baseball games and ice hockey and drive cars"... Colonel Sommo liked this "son of a bitch"!
Private take this man to the medical center and get him fixed up and get him some grub, we'll
see what we can do for him".
As the private and 13 and a half walked into the crowd of soldiers, civilians coming out of
hiding, people milling about... There was a flash of light and Elvis Mellon and his two chimp
companions and his shepherd with a guy that looked like Jack Nicholson and one that now
looked like "Woody Allen"... And a large translucent crystalline spider stood around Colonel
Sommo... "Look at this freak show!! Elvis how’s it hanging brother?” “Let’s go to the bar and
talk of dead lizards and captured little gray men''... the
strange assembly of mismatched individuals followed the man in fatigues, black leather jacket
and white scarf towards the building where the neon martini glass blinked on and off. The huge
crystalline spider scuttling behind them was not getting so much as a second look by the weary
citizens of Boulder.
EPISODE 16 AND A 3RD...
The skies were blue above Boulder Colorado as the blackened smoke of burning bodies and
alien technology wafted up into the hot summer air. The year was 2015 and since the great
"change" of 2012 the people of this community and the many refugees from the east and west that
poured in had faced a lot of hardships, no electricity and running water, harsh winters and not
enough food... Things were improving and power was being restored and life had been looking
up until the massive ships of the Draco encircled the world and the war had begun. Then the
nice aliens came, the ones that looked just like earth people..
. The Pleiadian... From the cluster of stars by the same name... They brought food and new
technology that helped repair power grids and they armed the humans and showed them the
Draco’s weaknesses... And for the first time in known history the people of earth had finally had
their first contact. And much like the beloved sci-fi shows of old, various extraterrestrial
species, and all members of a peaceful galactic federation had visited the earth and assisted it in
its rebuilding. And thanks to the bravery of Colonel T.P. Sommo and his "American Peoples
Republican Guard", the mysterious yet charming "Elvis Mellon" an intergalactic celebrity and
apparent "superhero", and his valiant crew of the 'Visigoth", the world was again free of the
tyrannical grasp of Zor the crown prince of the Draco empire.
On this warm summer day in an air conditioned bar called the "drunken skunk" a rather run
down "rustic" tavern with the typical trappings of stuffed moose heads and rifles and wooden
Indians and straw on the floor in this smoky dim lit bar crowded with soldiers of many
nationalities and both genders and civilians wearing everything from tuxedos and suits to shorts
and tee shirts some looked right out of the mountains like "Grizzly Adams"... And in the center
of this throng at the bar was the Colonel himself and his
childhood friend Elvis Mellon with about 50 shot glasses and beer glass's strewn in front of
them... Off to one side sat Jack Nicholson with Woody Allen and the other two chimpanzees -
one in a silver cape and shorts and another smaller one in a blue jump suit both holding big
steins of beer. Next to their bar stools sat a German shepherd slurping beer out of a dog dish.
In to the midst came the tired looking blond "private" with "13 and a half" now wearing a bandage
on the side of his head and green military fatigues.
Some of the soldiers stood up and grabbed weapons and an angry noise came up. Colonel
Sommo pulled out a 45 and fired it at the ceiling. Things went silent except the lapping of the
dog that quickly looked up at those staring at him and said "oh... Sorry"... Colonel Sommo
looked over at Elvis. 'Did your dog just talk?" “Yeah but don’t listen to him he lies a lot". The
dog, chimps, giant crystal spider coming out of the side room where the pinball machines were
and the two "celebrities" all laughed at the "inside" joke...... The rest of the bar stared...
Silent... Elvis got up and in his best Elvis Presley voice and mannerisms motioned towards Zik
and said "no one gives the giant translucent spider a second look but a talking dog freaks you all
out?!!”... "Tough crowd"... At this everyone laughed and cheered and conversation and music
EPISODE 16 AND THEN SOME...
*note to our readers, holo-chamber, and virtual headpiece users-
From central data storage grid xy1111199999999i81b4u-arc-world ship "Tellepharon" it has
come to our attention of several complaints made as to the spelling and structure of these
transmissions-we appreciate the complaints and agree-however it must be known the data stream
is virtual flawless while instantaneously conveyed from our ever moving location-it is the
(sigh...) "organic", bi pedal hominid... The warm blooded "talking primate" who is receiving said
transmissions and translating them to his late 20th/early 21 century almost colloquial American
"English". For this we apologize- please bear with us. These "transmissions of history" come to
us from many parts of the galaxy where the exploits of "Elvis Mellon" are still told from
generation to generation and where his image and audio recordings along with those of his
associates are regarded as something sacred and to be revered...
Meanwhile back in the alternate timeline 2015 at the "drunken skunk"...
"13 and a half" was escorted to the bar by "private" miller whose tight fitting khaki shorts did not
escape the attention of most of the males at the bar including the two chimpanzee's and the dog.
Colonel Sommo ran a comb thru his thick mane of black hair (with distinguishing gray on the
temples... The color gray that is...) he put his Marlborough in the crowded ashtray and ushered
the "cyborg clone" to a barstool he was pushing Sedgwick off of with his left hand while handing
13 and a half a mug of beer. "Why should we trust you?” The spindly gray took the mug in
both hands... With 4 fingers and gulped it as if having been in the desert without water for
months. "Ahhhhh... That’s like nectar!! Sir I assure you we are not your
enemy... We are forced to fight for the Draco against our wills straight out of the test tube...
We hate them more then you do!” Elvis loosened his tie and looked to the Colonel who leaned
over and said "nice clowns on yer tie!!” Then to the gray who was wiping beer foam from his
small mouth "we'll let you spend some time with Virgil over there (motioning behind him to the
table where Virgil/jack and Woody/Ascendant sat with drinks in front of them and a deck of
cards.) “He and his friend should be able to get a read on you, I want to believe you kid but we
can’t be too careful these days..." which ended in an enormous "bbeeellcccchhhhh... "Elvis who’
s the Woody Allen look alike?" Elvis took a sip of his 186
proof Tvarsky Russian vodka "that is one of the advanced beings who built the arc world ships
and the likes of Virgil... and... Well... remember that old "star trek" episode "errand of
mercy"? The Colonel feigned horror and said "their Klingons??!!"... And broke out in a grin...
I get it... He's like one of those "Organians"... Er the guys that built the monoliths in Arthur C
Clark’s 2001, 2010 stories... And we are the chimps in the beginning"... Sedgwick, who now
had pushed Hector off his stool and sat on it, (Hector sat on the bar itself) said" hey who you
calling chimps??!!" Then he gave the chimp equivalent of a laugh... "Hhhhheeeee.. hoooo
hoooooooooooreeeehhh" he and the Colonel high fived each other... 13 and a half was now
sitting with Virgil and Woody and Woody was passing cards to Virgil and the gray explaining to
the gray what Texas holdum poker was...
Meanwhile aboard the "decapitator" now doing about warp 12 as it passed Jupiter on its way out
of the system with a fleet of Pleiadian ships in pursuit... Zor lay in a "bathtub" with a ice pack on
his forehead... Sipping what looked like a "bloody mary"... He whispered to himself... "I’m not
thru with you yet Elvis... Not by far
EPISODE 17... A NEW TWIST...
As Zor sunk into dreams galactic domination... And back on earth the Ascendant "Woody"
gently probed the mind of 13 and a half while teaching him the finer points of "Texas hold em"
and "five card stud" (the Ascendant get around...)
On the other side of the galaxy... Perhaps another timeline?... Or not... On a now "desert
world" (like Tattooine) on a flat featureless desert of shifting purple sands below an azure sky an
"archeological" team from the "university of Ixnar" located on the second planet from the left had
set up tents and pressure domes to provide shelter and fresh cool "air" (what they consider air..)
As they dug out the remains of an ancient temple... Thousands of cycles ago this world had
been tropical and teeming with life... This desert was filled with forests and lakes...
A crane like machine was lifting dirt and sand encrusted statue out of the ground near some now
revealed columns and structures of buildings... Several small green furred hominids with 4
arms each and dressed in "desert ware”... shorts no shirts floppy hats for shade... Were
standing by with recording instruments... The statue was out of the whole... It was of a huge
humanoid... We would recognize his "sport coat" and tie and "converse basket ball sneakers...
Aviator sunglasses and fedora... In his hand a bottle of beer in his other a camel cigarette...
But to the Velorians... It was something all together different... One or two of them knelt and
bowed murmuring a chant "elllviiis meloon elllvisss melooon elvisss meloon"...
Suddenly a huge shadow covered them as a "Draco raptor hawk" assault wing came blasting
down over them it armored space suited Draco troops pouring out of a landing hatch...
Marching up to the archeological team... As a Velorian tried to hide some crystalline recorder
sticks in his bag... One of the Draco assault force grabbed his bag and took the crystals as the
team was surrounded... "a hissing voice came out of a translator... “These ruins and anything
found here are now properties of the Draco star
empire... If you wish to see your home world again... You will give us your full cooperation...
"A lead Draco with black and red stripes on his armor removed his helmet revealing the dreaded
long snouted crocodile like mouth full of fangs and slitted eyes glittering yellowish gold... "I am
Zorg the emperor’s nephew... Cousin to the mighty Zor"... Who is in charge here? A slightly
bent green furred Velorian with big boots and a bandana over his mouth raised his hand Zorg
To the statue... "That is a blasphemy"... He raised his laser rifle and blasted the statue to bits.
The head came crashing down at Zorg’s feet... He placed a jack heeled boot on it pressing it
into the sand... The Velorians cried allowed and some made gestures of protection... Zorg
raised his wrist where he had a small communicator... "Inform my cousin we have found what
we came for".
EPISODE 17 AND A HALF -STILL TWISTED
"Woody" suddenly sat "bolt-upright" and his face grew grim. He laid his cards down and turned
his head to face Elvis and the Colonel now engaged in animated conversation with several local
"town girls" "Elvis I hate to break up your party but I think we should get aboard the Visigoth
and meet up with "Tellapharon" in orbit around Aqualaron". Trouble is brewing... With the
time line issue... This Grey is well intentioned and may be of great help to your mission"
Colonel Sommo stood up and saluted Elvis and the rest as Zik
came out from behind the bar... 20 "hands" (claws will do.) Come in handy serving drinks...
The soldiers and town folks all cheered as Zik and the chimps joined the dog and Virgil who
were already out the front door. Elvis and Woody were whispering to each other as Colonel
Sommo listened and nodded "hey you really are a super being?”... "Woody" took the cards and
said, "pick a card any card"... "A friggin card trick?!!!” I can do that!! "Just pick one"...
Colonel Sommo rolled his eyes and picked one... The ace of spades... Big deal he held it up...
The card started glowing and growing larger... Until it was like a
glowing doorway of light Woody smiled and beckoned Colonel Sommo to follow him thru it.
With some trepidation the Colonel stepped into the light... With Woody behind him...
"Coming Elvis?” Elvis stepped thru and the doorway disappeared... A soldier picked the ace of
spades up off the floor.
Light years away on purple planet covered in dunes with azure skies... Colonel Sommo, Elvis,
and "Woody", who now was transformed into "Peter O Toole" in "Lawrence of Arabia” garb,
stood on the large crest of a huge sand dune. Down below a "Draco raptor hawk" was marching
several small green furred humanoids with 4 arms into their craft. The wind blew hot with
purple specks of dust and grit. Woody said, "We just came from the other side of galaxy... This
planet should be a tropical forested world teeming with life... In your time line Elvis... Care to
explain how they just dug out a 10,000 year old temple dedicated to you? On a now desert
world? And the Draco knows all about it? You were saying Colonel?” Colonel Sommo nodded
his head quickly and in a flash they were all aboard the Visigoth by the bay window of the
stateroom... In orbit around the earth...
EPISODE 17 AND CHANGE...
The Northern Hemisphere of the earth was in "nightshade" far below-
Elvis Mellon in this 2015 timeline sat once more by the bay window of Visigoth’s stateroom with
his old friend Colonel T.P Sommo, Virgil who now appeared as actor Keir Duella "astronaut"
David Bowman of film classic "2001"... In orange space suit... "Woody" the Ascendant... Who
now appeared as actor Leonard Nimoy "Spock" from the original series of "star trek" (as opposed
to the movies with the red and black uniforms) -though this time they sat on barstools in front
of the bar that slid out of the wall to the left of the window. A fully stocked bar much like the
one they were at in Boulder Colorado complete with
large mirrors and lights that said "Budweiser" and "miller" and rows of bottles of every kind of
booze imaginable not only from earth but from one side of the galaxy to another. There was a
holographic bartender courtesy of one Virgil’s sub routines -he looked like "Anthony Newley" in
white barman’s jacket with black bow tie. He smiled and polished glasses with a white towel.
Zik was present though the two chimps had gone to "nest" in their quarters for the evening (the
ship kept a day/night schedule).
The two missing crew members the red setter "red" had shown up sitting by Thor the "Shepherd"
and the android "Voltaire" who looked like a normal 21 century human male in a "mod" looking
late sixties style suit with Nehru jacket collar and Beatles haircut (if anyone remembers the 1970
British sci-fi show by Gerry Anderson "UFO" blond American actor Ed Bishop who played "Ed
Straker'... His haircut...)
Voltaire was the product of "Professor Krophfl a brilliant eccentric scientist Elvis has known for
years”. Voltaire, nice of you to join us" Elvis motioned for him to sit at the bar. Voltaire
walked like an "aristocrat" (like he had a broom up his ass) and he talked with an air of
condescension... "Sorry I missed your "war". I was in the lab running some tests on time
dilations”. Woody/Spock raised a Nimoy eyebrow and said "fascinating". “I was just going to
tell everyone about those time ripples that have been sweeping the other side of this galaxy".
Colonel Sommo sat next to Zik who simply leaned his enormous girth up
against the bar and occasionally took hits of a gas canister. The Colonel nodded towards the
android and whispered "Is it me or does he sound a little "snotty"... umm... that earth slang for
being ‘full of himself'... Before Zik could answer Voltaire turned towards him "Colonel
Sommo... An honor to meet you... my creator spoke very highly of you. I have incredible
hearing sir and I assure you I in know way think I am superior to anyone present". At that
moment Thor let out a yawn and he and Red lay at Elvis feet "well
except maybe”... Thor lifted his head "I heard that, Volt.”... Zik laughed in a series of
"squeaks”. "You got to love it!” Just then a sleek looking battle cruiser de cloaked next to the
Visigoth "Virgil put up his hand to silence every one "Princess Vipra’s cruiser just showed up
and she wants permission to come aboard". All heads turned to Elvis who was guzzling his
"kamikaze"...... "Tell her to come on aboard!!
EPISODE 18 "THE BRIDE ATE LETTUS"
*Readers who have been with us for some years and who were lucky enough to read "Elvis
Mellon origins # 1" first printing -will know a little more about "Princess Vipra" ( briefly
mentioned in previous current episodes) princess Vipra, you will recall, is sister to Zor and
daughter to semi-retired ‘Zoorector Rex' now dottering in an exclusive retirement community.
Vipra unlike Zor is not tone deaf and loves music and "rock n roll" and she and her now
husband are members of a growing group of Draco (* Draco covers
several sub species of evolved reptile including "iguanodon, raptor and crocodile) that are peace
loving vegetarians (* note... Iguanas on earth become vegetarians after several years of eating
"anything"... Dining mainly on lettuce carrots etc.) The "Draco’s for peace" started their own
settlement on the planet "Zaaracklan"... A beautiful temperate planet of forests and lakes and
grasslands. They lived in harmony with the warm blooded tree dwellers and it is this very
Planet -this settlement by a beautiful scenic lake is where Vipra chose to get married. * You
may recall Hector the chimpanzee mentioning this wedding to Virgil.
Elvis and his band along with the crew of the Visigoth arrived and played at the reception
attended by many species of the intergalactic federation, many Arcturans, Pleiadian, Lyran,
Aquallarons, Manti-were in the crowd. Unfortunately Zor and his battle squadron crashed the
reception (literally) and if it weren’t for Elvis and the crew of the Visigoth, Vipra and her
husband and many ambassadors to the intergalactic federation wouldn’t have gotten away.
After Vipra and her consort honeymooned on Aqualaron something very strange happened to
the sector Zaaracklan is in. Some sort of strange time distortions like ripples in time cause the
planet to suddenly "jump" or speed up as though 10,000 solar years have passed... The once
fertile world now a barren desert... To the neighbors on the planet where the Velorians come
from (the green furred 4 armed hominids) the planet had been desert for ages and they sent
archeologists to investigate the "ancient culture".
It is there (as scene by Woody, Colonel Sommo and Elvis) that the Draco invaded the dig and
destroyed the large statue of Elvis Mellon but confiscated the smaller statues and memory
crystals (those statues now aged 10,000 years are worth a mint on the "black market")...
Now back from their honeymoon princess's Vipra’s battle cruiser the ‘Vegan' has de cloaked
besides Visigoth and the princess and her entourage have beamed into Elvis’s stateroom to join
the crew at the bar...
EPISODE 18 "DON’T LOOK NOW BUT... "
"13 and a half" rode the "lift" (elevator doesn’t sound futuristic or "high tech enough for
"Visigoth...) to the stateroom -located at the top deck near the front of the ship adjacent to the
"bridge" (which our readers haven’t seen yet... The ship doesn’t really need one since "Virgil" in
essence is the ship and fully aware and in control of every facet of its operation... But Ovid had
one built in anyway for the organics... Zik loved to sit in the specially made captains chair and
he played with all the consoles and touch keys when Virgil placed the ship in his capable
"appendages"...) so "13" rode the lift up and the doors slid open to something he had never seen
in his 60 something years (young for a gray)... Living beings and cybernetics alike, enjoying
themselves and having fun and at no ones expense... This was foreign to him. He had secretly
fantasized about such things when he could get away from the Draco mind probes that punished
anyone fro fantasy...
That strange cultural "earth" /human thing... "Rock n roll music" was blasting from the
speakers/amps of the humans playing those instruments and the one in leather pants and
snakeskin boots who screamed... There were Draco here!!! But they were dancing with the
humans and the other primates and the giant crystalline arachnid creature was dancing
incredibly with its many legs!!! Colonel Sommo sat at the bar with feet up on a stool... He saw
"13" and motioned for him to join him at the bar. "13" made his way thru the crowd of robots
chimps, Draco, amphibians, holographs and super beings... and dogs... To the bar
where the Colonel coolly blew smoke out his nostrils and sipped his "Budweiser long neck bottle
"have a seat son", 13 climbed up on the stool that had just supported the Colonels motorcycle
boots”. You will answer to me son and Elvis, you will find that we will treat you much better
then your previous employers". The princess was tired and the song was over, she made her
way to the bar and grinned "what do we have here??... "Colonel Sommo waved for her to sit with
them "maam this is "13 and a half" he’s a defector to our cause", 13 this princess Vipra and she's
on our side" 13 got off his stool and bowed low "it is an honor "...the band had disappeared and
an invisible orchestra played "the days of wine and roses".
Elvis had requested this... he was in a strange mood. He looked about and decided to slip into
the bathroom for a "break"... When he was finished he stepped out into the state room and
immediately knew something was wrong... Only Thor and Hector where in the room looking
out the window... No Draco no Woody no Aquallarons... No music... And no earth!! Out side
the window was a beautiful nebula of changing colors... And Hector and Thor both looked...
AN EXTRA SPECTAULAR BONUS EXCERPT