AN ELVIS MELLON CHRISTMAS

PART # 10

COPYRIGHT 2005

A QUINN MARTION PRODUCTION

Captain Ashtar of the Galactic Confederation flag ship “Avatar,” was freshening up
in his private bathroom, adjacent to the ships bridge. He was of an average height
for a Plaedian man in his “prime”
(their sixties are equivalent to Earth Humans
thirties…)
and considered genuinely handsome and ascetically beautiful, by not only
his own race but most others. He was also incredibly vain and   narcissistic.  He
stared at his reflection in the full length mirror and straightened out his one piece,
light blue uniform with its bright red insignia and shoulder epaulets and then he
bared his perfect, white
(almost glowing) teeth, to check for any specks of food, and
being satisfied that he was as gorgeous as ever, winked at himself and checked his
filed and trimmed fingernails-
(he Gave new meaning to the term “Metrosexual.”)  
Using a piece of toilet paper to touch the button on his private “John” (he was also
germaphobic …even of his own germs…)
he then  

Pulled out his blue gloves from his pockets and pulled them on, checking his look
one last time before stepping out on to the brightly lit, streamlined bridge. The
bridge crew was a mix of various humanoid and non humanoid Galactic
Confederation races and their duty stations were mostly along either wall of the
triangular shaped bridge, and several that sat behind Ashtars command chair,
including his First Officer, known as first commander “Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx,” a large
“insectoid” White Mantis that resembled a giant albino “Praying Mantis”   as large
as Zik. Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx raised one of his large front appendages with a deadly
looking sharpened claw at the end and cocked his head in a robotic fashion.
“Captain Ashtar, Virgil- of the cybernetic children of the …
(Ashtar  threw up his
hand with an angry countenance)
“I know who VIRGIL is, First commander
Iiiiizzzzzxxxx ,  MOST of this galaxy and Universe knows who he and his fellow
“Cybernetic children of the ascendant” are!! WHY he -  a true “God” of sentient
mind and created by a technology we still cannot totally grasp or duplicate, would
chose to be the mentor and companion with that, THAT….Vulgar and tackily
dressed , PULBIC NUISSANCE and CRIMINAL-

Elvis Mellon, I will never know!”  The first officer
( called "first commander" )
bowed his insectoid head  and tried to hide his  annoyance.” Well sir, he has
informed us that not only is the Visigoth in orbit and now heading to intercept
THREE Super mutant cockroach battleships –THAT slipped by us and our
blockade, BUT he requests that you send two phalanx of our best Confederation
troops, cloaked and shielded, along with the team of Galactic “Black Ops” that
Colonel T.P Sommo trained for us and then  sent to work with the  Confederation
peace keepers , to meet up with members of Elvis Mellon’s crew beneath the Earth
city Las Vegas, to destroy a nest of Cockroaches.”  Ashtar jumped back out of his
command chair. “WHAT??!! ALL this while I was indisposed in the lavatory?! WHY

didn’t you inform me??”   The gigantic insect looked pissed off. "YOU said NOT  to
disturb you under ANY circumstances!!” Ashtar  glared at his first officer  for a
moment and then sat back down. “Colonel T.P Sommo you say?? Now HE at least
has some panache and style!! He has HIS uniforms tailor made, LIKE MINE!! Very
well, send the troops to Virgil’s coordinates! Dammed cockroaches!! Such VILE
creatures!! Where is (said with contempt and disgust) WHY isn’t Elvis Mellon going
to be leading his crew and the troops to this Vegas place? He’s probably off running
around with that CAT! THAT CAT pissed on my boots the last time we had dealings
with Elvis and the Visigoth!!!” Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx stared at his captain with his
large, white compound eyes.    “I believe Elvis Mellon and the cat will be rescuing a
beloved cultural icon from the cockroaches and their accomplices, sir.”  “Their
rescuing Woody Allen??!!”

The Viking streaked down towards the large property that included a Mansion, zoo
and an amusement park, known as the Neverland ranch. The space craft  was
cloaked and invisible to any radar or sensors, Man made, Cockroach or any other  
design. The sleek white ship morphed into a terrestrial  “tour bus”
(   an armor
plated and battle ready tour bus )
and then the holographic image of a “step van”
( like a large milk truck ) was projected over the bus so any body looking at it   
would just see a normal looking older big “boxy” truck  that said “ACME
EXTERMINATORS” on both sides. Virgil had already projected a holographic image
of the  exterminator truck coming down the driveway in case any security cameras
were watching, then the actual Viking  Viking/Truck  de cloaked in sync with the
holograph as it had just leveled off and touched the ground. Anyone watching would
have noticed nothing unusual as it pulled up to the front gate with its private
security force and guards station.
A few hundred miles away and not all that far from Groom lake and Area # 51,
Underneath the city of Las Vegas - in the sprawling sewer system of endless
tunnels and aqueducts, a clandestine “patrol” consisting of Zik, Doctor Sax, Grond,
Thor, Sedgwick and Hector, and several trained humanoid members
(and ex-patriot
Earth humans)
along With a Phalanx of “Crack” Plaedian Galactic confederation
assault troops –led by Captain Ashtar and his first officer
(the white Mantis)
Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx. Ashtar; under any other circumstances would have deplored
being in such a nasty, slimy, claustrophobic place and on such a potentially deadly
assignment , but saw it as an opportunity   for “One up man’s ship”  and besting
Elvis Mellon , whom he secretly felt intimidated by.        Zik could see in the dark
and also of course had his own Ascendant technology watch
(standard issue to
“Team –Elvis Mellon” – HIS crew)
strapped to one of his front legs in case he were
in need of a bright light, he just about fit in the main

Sewer tunnel they were walking in, accessed on the edge of town, in the desert.
Captain Ashtar wore special hip boots that went up to his upper thighs and he also
wore heavy duty battle armor over a pair of stain resistant overalls.  He walked up
front
(behind Zik and Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx) with the Doc and Grond and the rest
followed behind them  . Ashtar had never actually spoken with Doctor Sax but had
seen him several times while dealing with Elvis. “So Doctor Sax how did you end up
as part of Elvis Mellon’s crew?” The Doc was not known for being a chatterbox and
knew from hearing Elvis and Smoky talk, that this Ashtar guy was an asshole.

“Look, I am here as a favor to Elvis Mellon and Virgil and I have a score to settle
with the Cockroaches, that’s all you need to know.” Thor, the large German
Sheppard was keeping pace with the two male Chimpanzees’, behind Ashtar, Grond
and the Doc and could not resit asking.  “So why is the big chief muckity muck of
the Galactic Confederation fleet down here slumming with us and risking his neck
on a dangerous assignment?”  Captain Ashtar gave Thor his best insincere and
phony smile.
“Well, if you must know, I LOVE danger and excitement! Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx turned
a large compound eye towards Zik and several of Zik’s glittering baseball sized eyes
rotated to meet his look. Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx whispered under his breath to Zik.
“Yeah, His idea of danger and excitement is putting an extra lump of sugar in his
coffee.” “I HEARD THAT!” bellowed Ashtar as all Hell broke loose in the dark,
smelly Tunnel.

Laser fire erupted along with bursts of Plasma bolts and the methane from the raw
sewage that they tried to avoid stepping in, was bursting into flame and huge
explosions rocked them back and forth. Zik set his shields to encompass himself and
everyone behind him and calmly kept walking deeper into the maze of tunnels and
saw the super mutant cockroaches falling back and retreating. This was too easy.
He turned sideways to block the others from going any further and addressed
everyone. “I smell a RAT, if
there’s a nest down here we should be getting over run by thousands of giant
hungry cockroaches right now, and I only saw two or three and they were running
away! Super mutant cockroaches don’t run from anything!   Doc, Captain Ashtar, I
want to take Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx and scout ahead but I think you should all head
back to the entrance. We can move three  times as fast as any of you.”  Doctor Sax
hesitantly nodded affirmatively but Grond sounded scared. “Me no want you go
ZIK, if anything happen to you, WHO read me bedtime stories??” The Doc took his
hat off and hit the hairy green giant on the head with it. “ZIK will be just  fine
Grond; now let him do his job. Zik rotated half of his eyes to Grond. “Relax Buddy,
I will be reading you “The little engine that could” real soon.

Sedgwick and Hector screeched and saluted and Thor barked. “Good luck!” The Doc
shouted. “Call us if you need back up.” And two giant “extratestrial” arthropods
moved like lightening down the tunnel. Zik caught up with the three cockroaches in
minutes and immediately noticed that they walked rather   jerkily and something
seemed “odd” about them. He grabbed one by the head with his razor sharp claws
and yanked its head off with a  shower of sparks and smoke!! The head came right
off and he saw wires and servomotors inside. “Robots, it’s a set up!!
Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx caught up with the other two and they turned and started firing
green laser bolts from their antenna’s, they bounced off Zik’s protective shielding
(that still extended over all of his associates and allies) and the graceful white
mantis swiftly decapitated the cockroach bots in a shower of sparks as arks of blue
and green electricity splayed all around the tunnel, revealing that the rows of egg
cases in this “nest” were fake looking. Zik and Iiiiiizzzzzxxxxxxxx exchanged
glances as a transporter beam cut through Zik’s shielding and they found
themselves standing on the bridge of a super mutant cockroach battle cruiser.   

As that was happening, the Viking/truck that said “Acme exterminators” stopped
by the security guards station at the Neverland ranch and Virgil
(now looking like a
young Jerry Lewis)
dressed in a dark green uniform with  an Acme Exterminators
i.d badge that said “Earl,” got out of the truck carrying an invoice in his hands and
approached the large, muscular uniformed guard that was coming out of the guards
office. “Can I help you with something?” Virgil nodded and handed him the paper
and in Jerry Lewis’s classic movie voice said. “Mr. Jackson called us about an insect
infestation.”  The guard was not a pleasant looking man and looked like he had just
came here from serving twenty  years in a Russian Gulag in Siberia. “No one told us
anything about it! I can’t let you in.”
Virgil nodded. “That too bad” and simply blinked at the man and he fell over onto
the grass next to the driveway, sound asleep. The other guard inside the office and
looking out, fell over onto the floor and Virgil’s holographic form vanished as the
gates opened and the Viking pulled down the long driveway towards the mansion.
TO BE CONTINUED
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