ELVIS MELLON VS THE NAKED VAMPIRE WOMEN OF PLANET DOOM


PART # 2

COPYRIGHT 2005


A QUINN MARTIAN PRODUCTION  

The gracefully elegant star ship “Visigoth” left behind the massive, slowly spinning
asteroid known as “Big Daddy.   Elvis Mellon and his crew had beamed aboard shortly
after they watched the news cast of Cad Bomblinson featuring the haunting words of Jeff
Jetstoned , concerning the “Naked Vampire woman” attacking their settlement on
Cesspoolus # 3 and now the Visigoth was en route there.  Virgil had transported Elvis and
his friends directly to the ships “lounge,” including their drinks, and they found
themselves still sitting or standing in the same arrangement they had been in   at  “Big
Daddy
Long legs.” The only difference was that Zik’s brother Zak was no longer the bartender
but was replaced by one of Virgil’s sentient holographic subroutines that took on the
appearance and personality of the late actor Frank Spencer Sutton, best known for his role
as Drill Sergeant Vincent Carter on the 1960’s television show -Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. Elvis
noted that he had his standard Marines crew cut but wore a classic barmen’s white jacket
and black bowtie. The holograph winked and slid a frosty mug of lager beer over to him
with a second, smaller glass filled to the top with single malt

Scotch and two ice cubes. Elvis loosened his tie,   pushed his hat up and then lifted the
scotch  glass to his lips with a wink to   the bartender as he realized that he had been
doing an imitation of Jim Nabor’s “Gomer Pyle” the previous evening  as  to good
naturedly chastise Grond for thinking that Comet cleanser was made out of crushed comet
dust   after  Grond saw  a commercial for it during a re-run of The Andy Griffith show.  
Apparently the independent sub routine that took care of all the lounges basic functions
including the bar,  had scanned his mind and discovered Elvis’s fondness for the actor
and his beloved character. Elvis and the crew would often gather in the lounges holo vid
theater section with the large 3d holo screen and watch   intercepted transmissions of “TV
land.”   

Grond always had trouble distinguishing the classic, old Earth television broadcasts of
sitcoms, dramas, etc ,  from actual real time events and news footage. Grond, having grown
up on a rather primitive temperate jungle planet where their idea of technology made
Gilligan’s island seem sophisticated, thought that holo vid’s and even the much simpler
Earth “televisions”  were magic box’s with little people inside.  Now Elvis looked over at
the lovable but often simple minded giant as he sat next to the Colonel and it occurred to
him that the “technology” involved in creating the holographic bartender sub routine and
Virgil ,   was   beyond him (Elvis) as much as the  concept of television and  its drama and
comedy programs not being real but “make believe”  was to Grond.
Virgil and his many subroutines were in essence, sentient, self aware personalities capable
of such high levels of multitasking and functioning and existing and appearing at several
places at once and reproducing, “replicating” virtually anything out of seemingly nothing
instantaneously that it staggered his mind.  “Vince” was now grinning at Elvis and   
leaned over and said “Your mind still fascinates us as much as ours baffles you, if you do
not mind my stepping out of character for a moment, sir.” Elvis put his scotch glass down
and picked his beer mug up and guzzled half of it and then wiped the froth from his
mustache with his hand and set the mug down. “Not at all, “Vince,” I  relish these
moments of candidness and  honesty from you and the other sentient cybernetic
intelligences.”   

Elvis’s reverie was broken by Zik’s whiney voice loudly asking. “THAT was “HER” with
Jetstoned wasn’t it?” Everyone looked at each other and then back at Zik and Elvis, as
Elvis looked Zik square in his eyes, all twenty of them. “Yes, that was indeed the mommy
of your Hell spawn, Lauren.” Zik’s bulky frame sagged low along with his head. “I guess
we are headed there?” Elvis nodded and blew smoke out his nostrils. “We are indeed, I
want to see first hand the damage these alleged vampire women did to Tranquilis and its
citizens and we owe it to Jetstoned and the victims to find out what really happened  there
and to figure out a way to stop them.” Zik raised his head slightly with several outer  eyes
rotating towards Elvis. “Fine, but I am keeping my distance from her this time!! I cant
believe  I actually had sex with that monster!” Smoky started to say something but Elvis
clamped his hand over the cat’s mouth. “Hey, we have all been there, you were drunk and
lonely and it was dark and at least she had enough physiological similarities to even allow
mating, how were you to know the babies would turn out to be translucent,  hairy  
carnivorous predators that use sound waves to stun their victims then devour them whole,
with no ability to speak or cognitive thought?!”  Zik’s head hung down again and his eyes
all focused on the floor. “Thanks for cheering me up.”

The stars streaked  outside the lounges gigantic  bay window as the Colonel got off his
bar stool and leaned against the bar pounding it with his fist. “You forgot to say NAKED
vampire women!!! I say we find them god dammed freaky bitches and throw em all a
good…” Just then a loud bell chimed, drowning out the Colonels last words, followed by
Virgil’s disembodied voice (as Peter O Toole.) “I have intercepted several high priority
Confederation transmissions on the emergency frequencies, those Vampire women have
struck again in two neighboring systems of Cesspoolus # 3, following the same pattern of
attack. I decided to scan all galactic data bases and libraries including those of the non
aligned worlds for anything similar and or related and (a holographic star  map suddenly  
appeared floating above the heads of Elvis and his crew ) The red  blinking dots  are the

last worlds attacked since Cesspoolus # 3 and the orange dots represent planets where
similar attacks occurred with in the last 3 solar months.” The Doc squinted at the map and
then stood up and moved closer to it, pointing to the orange dots. “Those are in Draco
space across from the Confederation border frontier colonies! They have attacked Draco
worlds too!”  Elvis Mellon got up off of his bar stool and stood next to the Doc, both
looking up at the moving  star map as the Colonel joined them. “That’s the first I have
heard of any of this crap and I have been monitoring Draco and Gray chatter on their
secured carrier waves ( gesturing with an up turned thumb towards Thirteen ) thanks to
the Kid’s memorizing the codes!”  The Doc glanced over at the Colonel and then at Elvis.
“Funny, that they didn’t blame the Confederation for sending them or for them being
mercenaries hired by us?!”   Virgil   appeared (still as Peter O Toole) in front of Elvis and
his companions below the star map. “Not if they are somehow in cahoots with  the Draco  
or became allies with them.”

At that very moment, as the Visigoth streaked towards the Cannebulon system and
Cesspoolus # 3 ,   in another sector of the galaxy  ,  deep in  Draco held territory  on a
remote and inhospitable  planet known as Reptilicon  #6 -113  , a Draco scientific outpost,
a clandestine meeting was taking place between two new allies. Vantaress Buurrnzz was a
brilliant and up and coming geneticist in the Draco scientific community and considered
by Draco males and females alike to be a ravishingly beautiful woman by Draco
standards. She had been mentored by her Uncle, Hemroidicus Buurrnzz, a famous
robotics and cyberneticist  that had become infamous for his role in helping to unleash the
Lubricators
(* See link for "Origins  of the Lubricators"  below  )   upon the Milky Way
galaxy. This outpost world was one of

several worlds where the leading Draco scientists worked on perfecting and improving
everything from the cybernetic implants used on the Gray cyborg clones to the assassin
bots used along with the Clone slaver armies and the Draco shock troops, to actual cloning
of Grays and other life forms utilized as slaves, servants, armies or food items for the
empire. Vantaress   ran her own labs deep underground, below the pressure domes that
housed the robotics/cybernetics labs and   living quarters and agricultural area’s of her
Uncles complex. She was currently  far too wrapped  up in her work to consider any
serious dating or social life and she truly loved her career and surrounded herself with
like minded women scientists that she considered more like a sisterhood then just
professional staff.
Reptilicon # 6-113 was off the beaten track and despite occasional visits from the top brass
of the Draco military high command or the Emperor  himself, those who called this icy
world and its outpost -home, loved the privacy and freedom to work undisturbed.
Vantaress was entertaining some newly arrived “guests.” The Draco as a whole did not
totally despise warm blooded life forms any more then they despised the many
“bloodless” life forms that occupied this particular universe, but they were not overly
fond of humans, especially those of the Plaedian, Sirian and Lyran factions of the Galactic
Confederation that so closely resembled those talking monkeys on the home word of
Elvis Mellon, that savage and barbaric frontier world known as Earth.  

Vantaress current guests looked humanoid but had a strange green tinge to their hairless
skin and canine fangs that almost rivaled her own. They were also all female and naked
except for black leather, knee high, stiletto heeled boots and black and red satin cape’s
draped over their slim shoulders. They all had long lustrous, shiny black hair on their
heads that ran down to the base of their spines. Vantaress was reminded of an intercepted
Earth television signal transmission she had seen once of a woman named “Elvira”
Mistress of the night. The leader of these humanoid females could have been related to
her. Vantaress had first encountered these rogue humanoids on a rare off world trip she
had taken to attend a conference on the commercial uses  of cloning at the Hump
convention center on Terripod random flex,   a popular resort planet of the Draco.
Vantaress and her senior staff were returning from four  days of fun and sun and
mingling with fellow
acedemians at truly fascinating lectures on the cellular division and replication of
hermaphrodite rectal parasites called appropriately “SHIT EATERS” and their useful
contributions to many ecosystems as they consume tons of waste both in and out of Draco
and many other life forms found on Draco worlds. Of course the Draco unlucky enough to
contract a case of shit worms usually died in a few weeks as the shit worms also eat their
intestines and  any other organs they  come across,  but it sure keeps the population down
on prison planets and  the more poverty stricken worlds found on the edges of the great
star empire. The lecture Vantaress had most loved was on cloning genetically enhanced
and tinkered with shit worms and their applications  in the field of  biological warfare and
decimating enemy populations for eventual Draco colonization.

Vantaress was still reading up on that material when her uncles private transport, an older
model of the Dalgorian Fireraptor L-17 pleasure cruiser series, was intercepted and
boarded by an unidentified and unallied fleet of  foreign humanoid rogues that were
apparently mercenaries and pirates and though they resembled creatures that she had
heard about in news reports , blood drinking humanoid females and their male slaves that
had struck both  Draco  and Confederation worlds alike , these marauding  intruders had
not drank any blood or murdered any of Vantaress crew or staff but had offered her
plundered riches beyond belief  in exchange for some possible scientific information and
work. Once she established that this “Queen Druisilla” and her strange sisterhood of
Amazon like warriors were not allied with the Confederation or with Elvis Mellon and his
collection of galactic miscreants, Vantaress struck a bargain with her and invited them
back to her outpost laboratory in secret. This was now their second visit to this barren and
icy planet. Queen Druisilla stood in the brightly lit lab with three of her high ranking
sisters flanking her.  They all wore the standard boots and capes with incredibly muscular
bodies, long legs, thin waists, vivacious hips and curves and large ample breasts.    

The lead Draco scientist mused that to other humanoids these women must be beautiful
and irresistible but to her  they might as well be walking porter house steaks, very rare.
She was not a  vegetarian like her sniveling cousin (her Uncle Hemroidicus son and
disgrace to the family) and had these women been enemies she would not have given a
second thought to making a meal out of them, but she put those thoughts from her head
and grinned like a crocodile. “How are those Bat/men hybrids working out?  Queen
Druisilla grinned back, also baring her fangs. “Excellent thank you , do you have more of
those giant bats, those that call themselves the “Kaytall” that you bred them from?? We
lost a few of our man/bat hybrids in the last raid when the settlers took some pot shots at
us.”  Vantaress smoothed her white lab coat with her clawed hands and turned her large
yellow, reptilian eyes to meet Drusilla’s gaze. “No, but I can acquire more of them, and the
price will be  double, they are under  Confederation  protection and  if you didn’t know,
they are not only friends with Elvis Mellon  but some of them  worship him  as a  God! I
don’t need him and his crew  snooping around here and bringing the Confederation
troops  into Draco territory and my Uncle values his privacy from  our OWN government
as well.”  Druisilla looked at her sisters and they murmured to each other and then she
gave Vantaress a look as cold as ice. "I will pay what ever it takes! SCREW Elvis Mellon
and his crew!!            TO  BE CONTINUED
MENU DIRECTORY  
* "ORIGINS OF THE LUBRICATORS"  
PAGE # 3
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