ELVIS MELLON ALTERNATE TIME LINE CIRCA 1962 - THE JOSEPH MELLON
EPISTLES PART # 3
( Written by Mike Banks )
The following radio transmission was heard by the Naval air station in Key West Florida
August 26 1962
CINCOM(2) Interception from: Cargo Vessel Cairo, Registry: Panama
To: HMS York, Frigate
(Both vessels, parallel, 4 nautical miles separation,[exact coordinate censored] traversing North by Northeast,
170 Nautical miles west of U.S. Commonwealth Puerto Rico, 18 15 N, 66 30 W)
CAIRO: "May-day, may-day, may-day..."
YORK: " HMS York to unnamed vessel... what is your need of assistance?"
CAIRO: "This is the freighter Cairo.... the Captain and First Officers are all dead... my God,... my God..."
YORK: "Cairo, what is your need of assistance?"
CAIRO: " This is Seaman First Class Rivera... God, I cannot believe this... what I saw... what..."
YORK: "Cairo,... how can we assist you?"
CAIRO: "...Santa Maria... oh... oh... it hit us just after the speed boat crossed before our starboard bow...
traveling fast... so fast..."
YORK: "Cairo,... what is your emergency?"
CAIRO: "...the thing... the thing... it looked like a large glowing cigar... so fast... it was chasing after the speed
boat... from the air..."
YORK: Cairo,... are you in need of assistance?"
CAIRO: "... it was about to catch the fast boat, but it bounced off of our main deck, amid-ships, as it fell from
the sky... the pilot house is gone... gone..."
YORK: "Cairo... what is the nature of your emergency?"
CAIRO: "Burning... It's all burning... we have 30 degrees list to Port... it hit us and made a huge arc back into
the sky... then it fell into the ocean..."
YORK: "Cairo,.. how may we assist?"
CAIRO: "As the fast boat passed before us... I saw the gato, the big gray cat... I was at my watch at the bow...
I saw it's eyes... God in heaven..."
YORK: "Cairo, what is the nature of your emergency?"
CAIRO: "... then the airplane passed over us... send it back, send it back to us... please, dear God... the ship
is rolling over... rol... ssssssssssssssssssssss
YORK: " Cairo... what is your emergency... how may we assist you?"
YORK: " Cairo,... how may we assist you?"
file, top secret only
( Written by Rich "Elvis" Mellon
The following letter was sent by Joseph Mellon in Key West Florida to Melvin Bender in New York
August 31st 1962
To the office of Melvin Bender – editor in chief of Triumvirate
I am o.k., relax, its all good. I was in Marathon and now I am in Key West after a rather
strange and unexpected side trip and ended up in Cuba for several days when a fishing boat
found me adrift after I was knocked out of Mr. X’s speed boat when the U.F.O crashed into the
tramp steamer and ricocheted into the drink. I should probably start at the beginning but I am
pressed for time and waiting for your brother’s friend, Neil Brentwood to meet me here at
Sloppy Joe's bar and grill. I was able to talk to him last night on the phone and he informed me
that this X character is some former C.I.A spook and was last employed by some guy named
Enstavro Blofeld and worked for some crazy scientist called “Doctor No.” X kept saying I knew
him and that he had to get me to Cabo Diablo because the fate of the free world depended on
it? I wonder if he is another patient of Felderstein ( GRIN ) This other crazy named Colonel T.P
Sommo ( YES, LIKE MY STORIES AND COMIC
BOOKS!! ) was ranting and raving about poetic license and my writing him too manic and short
tempered??!! Jeeeze, talk about fans taking your work too seriously! He even dresses like my
character in the comic book but I guess I should be flattered. How they got someone to throw
his voice and make it sound like the cat was talking is beyond me but dammed if he didn’t sound
just like the guy from “Bye bye Birdie, that Paul Lynde fellow!! Anyway, oh hold on (another
scotch and soda please amigo? ) So anyway, When I thought X worked for Brentwood and took
the taxi to the docks and got aboard that fancy souped up speed boat and met the Colonel and
some little guy with a huge head and big black shiny eyes that talked like Martin the Martian from
the Bugs Bunny cartoons, sort of a gray little fellow and he was with the cat. Well they said we
had to get
Going and rendezvous with the chief (the guy they all work with and for that guy posing as my
character Elvis Mellon, why? –I don’t know…) Well no sooner do we weigh anchor and take off
when this big funny looking translucent dome on the front of the boat stands up and its this
giant friggin spider some kind of alien space monster spider and he kept asking why I didn’t
recognize him and said I was really hurting his feelings, so anyway, they all kept staring at me
and the spider especially, yeeeeesh, he had like
twenty glittering eyes like big diamonds and they rotated in different directions or sometimes
they all moved together and looked at me, it gave me the heebie jeebies, well they all said the
resemblance was uncanny and it must be amnesia , what ever they meant by that I have no clue
, so anyway this crazy looking cigar shaped U.F.O comes up out of the water and its shooting
these blue lightening bolts at us and the Colonel is yelling for the spider to put the force field on
, what ever the Hell that was and X is driving that boat like a Bat out of Hades and the Cat is
digging its claws into the seat cushions and there’s this freighter , the Cairo, right in our path
and that weird flying ship is closing in on us and Cairo is moving right into our path and next
thing I know the spider freaks out and one of his legs knocks me over board and last thing I saw
was that flying cigar bouncing off the Cairo and it took it out, I mean like smash, bash, bam and
down she went, the Cairo was sunk and blasted apart and that cigar thing was smoking and
shot down into the drink, the speed boat must have had some problems because they couldn’t
swing around to get me and last I saw the Colonel and X were shouting at each other and almost
had a fist fight and I swam to this big piece of debris from the Cairo and held on and a few
hours later this fishing boat got me. I will have to tell you about Cuba another time, Brentwood
just walked in , I will write or call and fill you in on the rest and have my first article on Key West,
Marathon and points beyond , mailed in by Friday.
Joseph R . Mellon Head travel writer, Triumvirate.
( Written by Joe Fischer )
The following telegram was sent to Gene Miller of the Miami Herald by Juan Valdez while in Puerto Rico
August 31st 1962
To: Gene Miller, Reporter, Miami Herald
From: Juan Valdez, Cuban Correspondent, Miami Herald
Well I got to Cuba OK, though it was the plane flight from hell. I wish they’d get rid of those damned DC-3s. They are
so noisy the waitress couldn’t even get my drink order straight (thus, the hellish nature of my flight). I admit they are a
little better than a slow boat, but only a little faster. That, and these Cuban pilots fly them like their fighters. I guess they
don’t have anything better. I haven’t seen a thing newer than 1958 in my several trips to Havana since the “revolution”.
I know you didn’t expect to hear from me, but I might have some information that you want. I heard you running
around trying to locate a Joseph Mellon before I left. Well, it just so happens that a bartender friend of mine (any
bartender who can make a Perfect Manhattan is a close friend of mine) was chatting up a scotch and soda drinking
American a few days ago. As it turns out, he remembered this guy’s name because he was an author he really likes from
some science fiction magazine. Needless to say at this point, but it was Joseph Mellon.
Apparently, after many drinks, Joe was telling some incredible story about a flying saucer chasing the boat in which he
and several of his sci-fi characters were riding in. He said that the flying saucer ran into a bulk steamer and sunk it while
he was thrown from the boat. He was rescued by a local fisherman and was only passing time until he got off this rock.
That’s the easy to believe part of this story.
Jorge, the bartender, said that several of Castro’s National Guard troops busted into the bar and insisted that they be
directed to the American. Jorge says he won’t mess with these troops anymore because they killed his oldest son and
broke his leg before they stole his home, farm, ’50 Ford Custom convertible and a make-shift crop-duster/ J-3 Cub.
Anyway, they grabbed Joe while telling him that Raul wanted to see him. The only Raul that Jorge and I could think of
was Castro’s brother, so I followed up as best I could with my recently acquired, Cuban-issue press card (and no
seniority). All I could find out was that Joe Mellon was in the country illegally and was to be deported immediately after
his meeting with Raul Castro.
Needless to say, Raul does not just meet with every illegal alien before they are deported. Something smelled fishy, so I
waited outside the constabulary until Joe came out. Unfortunately, I couldn’t talk to him because more military goons
were escorting him. I do not know how or when he left the island.
Hope this helps. If it does, you owe me one.
( Written by Joe Fischer )
The following message was sent via telegram radioed to Miami Western Union office from off the Glo-
mar adventurer in the Caribbean to Howard Hughes in Las Vegas
August 28th 1962
To: Howard Hughes: President, Hughes Industries
From: Jeff Jetstoned Sr.: Sr. Geologist: Glo-mar Adventurer, Caribbean Sea.
Recalling the request you made in our last meeting, and in great gratitude for the opportunity you have
provided me by appointing me to this position, I felt the need to inform you of recent anomalies revealed in our
studies. Now, please do not think that I am mad because the information I herein present. I have full data to
corroborate my findings. There is very little speculation in what I now present to you.
As per your assignment, we are exploring for possible oil reserves in an isolated portion of Caribbean Sea. We
are primarily using the new SMUT (Seismic Measuring of Undersurface Topography) system that you
developed to map the subsurface below the ocean floor. Was it your insight that developed directional bottom
charges to measure seismic waves for mapping subsurface strata? That little black box of yours must be pretty
powerful to measure and map all of those subsonic frequencies.
Not to mention this ship. What a technology guru’s dream. I know it serves several scientific purposes, but
you will have to explain the configuration of the above deck steelwork to me. The crew doesn’t know, or is
unwilling to tell. It’s almost like you could land one of your large aircraft on it, if it could practically hover. I
can’t believe that your next ship, the Explorer, will be even larger and more capable.
My apologies, I digress. I know how you like brevity.
We were in proximity of a small deserted island with the SMUT array deployed. All instruments were on when
there was a large seismic event. I must mention that I have recorded a lot of earthquakes in my time, and this
was not by any means normal. Also, the sin wave is significantly different than any Bikini Atoll detonation.
Essentially, I have not encountered a seismic wave quite like this since I got my first seismograph and put it
under the bed while Ma and Pa were Makin’ Whoopi.
Anyway, it lit up the instruments and after 23 hours of processing, your system spit out a map that covers
about 50 square miles in damned good detail; several hundred orders of magnitude greater than we can create
with our seismic charges.
Your computer calculates that there is a huge void below the island. We could not measure the entire extent of
the void, but it does appear spherical. I could not say whether it is a natural occurrence or not, but no known
natural, spherical occurrence (caused by gaseous bubbles in quickly cooling lava or basalt) measures greater
than some hundred meters in diameter. If the sphere of this void were symmetrical, I guesstimate it would be
some 10 kilometers in diameter.
I assure you that your excellent system engineers and I have triple-checked all parts of the array, transmission,
recording and analysis systems. With few exceptions, everything is operating within specifications. Even
compromised systems seem to repair themselves in short order. I believe that a system failure that could
create an anomaly this pronounced would have been found with relative ease.
I use the term loosely, but a void does not mean that nothing is there. The machine has measured a few faint
shadows within the void that cannot be interpreted into anything that makes sense in these early stages of our
data analyses. However, I do believe that there is something within that void. Anything else I could divulge
would be wild speculation and beyond even my own comprehension.
I have sent this letter along with the recorded data (minus my notes) by the special courier you specified. I
wish to let it be know that your courier is an unusual sort and seems quite preoccupied with unworthy pursuits.
I hope he is deserving of the faith you put in him. I hope that this information fulfills the wishes you expressed
to me and I would be pleased to address any questions or comments you may have.
( Written by Rich "Elvis" Mellon )
The Following letter was sent from Joseph Mellon in Key West, Florida to Melvin Bender in New York
Sept 1st 1962
I have a few minutes free before boarding Brentwood’s Dehavilland Beaver for our trip to Caico
and the copter tour of Cabo Diablo, IF we can find the dammed place. I have to tell you what
happened after the fishing boat picked me up. This old boat, “la gaviota”
With its Captain Manny Lagoya, and his brothers Pepe and Fredrico and crew, found me drifting
and pulled me in and wrapped me in blankets and took good care of me. They brought me to
Matanza and I still had all my money and travelers checks and after my cloths dried and I got
something to eat at this local café , Manny brought me to the local watering hole for some
fortification and I was careful to leave out most of my story until the scotches started flowing
and when I asked Manny and Pepe about Cabo Diablo,
( their English was better then my Spanish, by the way) and they just crossed themselves
and asked why the Devil (Diablo) I would ever want to go there? I told them what I knew about it
from Stan and Neil and the little I got out of X and the Colonel about some kind of clandestine
U.S and Allied listening post or hidden base being built there to thwart the Soviets, and said how
beautiful it is supposed to be, the island itself, and Manny said its beautiful all right, just as a
shark is beautiful as it glides through the water on its way to kill and eat you. Manny said they
have been going there since they were boys with their Grand Father and they have seen some
strange things like ghost ships, seventeenth century Pirate ships that had live crews in the
appropriate cloths of their day and weird flying disks and cigar shaped craft and sea monsters
their Grand Fathers boat and , freak lightening storms and fogs and weird lights and water
spouts. Pepe even said he saw a beautiful Mermaid swimming off its shores but Pepe likes his
Tequila. They said they saw U.S Navy ships not far from there and I tried to pay them to take me
there but they refused and pleaded with me to give up this crazy quest! Now I want to go more
then ever and see what this is about. Anyway, while we were there at the “la ballena grande”
These goons show up from Castro’s National Guard and dragged me out and threw me in this
black sedan and took me to Havana to this military building and I had been blind folded and hand
cuffed the whole way and they bring me to this office with this man of obvious importance by
the way they saluted him and acted around him and I knew it wasn’t Fidel Castro because he was
clean shaven and wore glasses but had a similar uniform and dammed if it wasn’t Raul Castro,
Fidel’s brother!! Melvin, I know by now you think I am crazier then a shit house rat but I swear
on my Fathers grave and my children’s eyes that all this has
Happened to me and now I was standing alone in a room with Raul Castro and he offered me a
cigar and a drink and was very cordial and said he knew who I was and read our magazine! He is
a big fan and loved my articles on Havana and Pinar L Rio back in 57.
Then he surprised me by showing me a black and white photograph of me and X at the Miami
airport bar and he called for this fellow to come into the room and it was a Ruskie, this little guy
in a uniform with the sickle and hammer and beady little eyes, bald, big walrus mustache and
Cossacks beard , he has this black brief case and opens it
up and starts showing me more photo’s , photo’s of me from back during the war, when I was
in London and had a little incident with MI5 and the O.S.S , and then they are showing me
pictures that look like me but it was this guy dressing up like Elvis Mellon, he could have been
my twin except for his beard and the cloths and I don’t wear glasses and he had those wild ties
with the clowns on them and that beat up Fedora and the checkered sport coat and Harley
Davidson belt buckle, I didn’t even know they made belt buckles like that, and then I realized
those were old pictures and he was standing behind Lenin in Saint Petersburg making a face and
giving the victory sign!! They had pictures of this “Elvis Mellon” guy and the Colonel playing golf
with the battle of
Stalingrad going on around them!! That dammed cat was there too with his god dammed
glasses and they all looked the same age as they do now!!!! This Russian fella kept staring at me
and asking in this thick accent, who I REALLY was and I tried to tell him I was only one years old
give or take a few months went the Russian revolution happened and during the battle of
Stalingrad I was covering Patton’s North Africa campaigns and also flying to the South Pacific to
do stories. Raul asked me about this “X” guy and I told them everything that happened to me
since coming to Florida and I did mention seeing Felderstein and the breakdown and they
seemed to know about that and they were looking at me like they were scared of me all the
sudden and Castro said I was in their country illegally and due to the strange nature of my being
aboard the fishing boat, they would let me fly back to Miami and Raul shook my hand and said
he was sorry for the blindfold and hand cuffs and they dismissed me and I got a flight out of
their that night and here in Key West at the starlight Hotel by yesterday morning. Anyway, looks
like Neil is ready to fly us out of here, so I have to be running along, I mailed out my article for
next months copy and I will try and call or write when we get to Caico.
Yours truly, Joey Mellon Head writer for the Triumvirate