ELVIS MELLON ALTERNATIVE TIME LINE CIRCA 1962 -THE JOSEPH MELLON
EPSITLES PAGE # 5
( Written by Mike Banks )
The following telegram was sent by Melvin Bender in New York to Joseph Mellon's hotel in Turk and Caico
Sept 1st 1962
To: Joseph Mellon, Head Travel Writer - Triumvirate
From: Melvin Bender, Chief Editor - Triumvirate
August 29th, 1962
So again, I can't thank you enough for the marvelous piece that you delivered in, and just
in time yet! Circulation has reached a new high after that one hit the stands, Morey is
whistling Zippity-Do-Da out of his ass-hole, and life up here is just ducky! I hope you
received the fruit basket with the nice bottle of Chivas in the middle, that he sent down
there for you. My first week back has been great! I could have been back two weeks ago, but
Moyra made reservations up at Kutchers and we went straight up there for two weeks, with me
just out of Cedar Sinai! Oy, do I love this woman! She played a lot Ma-jong with her
Yenta's and left me the hell alone to enjoy a svitz every day, pinochle every afternoon,
and I even smoked a cigar that Himmelmann gave me! The stomach hasn't bothered me a bit!
It's a miracle! Modern medicine! Modern science! I feel like a new man! The last thing I
remembered when I hit the kitchen linoleum, after reading that telegram of yours about the
talking pussycat, big spiders, and some putz in a flowered shirt that wasn't supposed to
pick you up at the airport, was the sound that that woman made as I laid there holding my
stomach from turning to tatalah. Such a sound shouldn't come from a woman! Oy! But after
she stopped wailing, she made for that phone faster than Jessie Owens, and the next thing I
knew was Doctor Kastner telling me "Relax, Morey, it'll all be OK", after the ambulance
ride. So if I'm a new man, she's a new woman maybe? As she held my hand in the hospital
bed, she said maybe she might consider my idea about that new '63 Ford Galaxy I talked to
her about buying. Oy, do I love this woman! We just enjoyed at Kutchers. There's nothing
like the Catskills... who could want to go anywhere else? We even held hands, like a couple
of kids, at the dinner show while Buddy Hackett did his shtick. Then we walked together
down by the lake. After that, well, I won't tell you.
So Joey, make me proud with the Turks-Caico piece, ( I can see them all lining up at the
stands already), and enjoy yourself with that new friend of yours, Mau Hing. The mysteries
of the Orient, already? Good for you! I hear they make good wives. Personally, the food
gives me heart-burn. But, I think it's nice that she's traveling with all her brothers, or
cousins,... whatever. You enjoy, but don't forget there's a deadline to meet,
PS So what's with all the traffic around Cuba, already? Maybe we'll actually be able to
book there again? Let me be the first to know, OK?
Make sure Stan doesn't stiff you with the check. He does that.
Morey will blow a gasket.
( Written by Rich "Elvis" Mellon )
The following is an excerpt from the Triumvirates travel section, an article by Joseph Mellon written while in
Key west, Florida AUGUST 27TH 1962
THE TRIUMVIRATE - TRAVEL SECTION.
THE FLORIDA KEYS- GATE WAY TO THE CARIBBEAN
BY JOSEPH MELLON
As the golden sun sets on the emerald waters beyond Key West , Florida, I feel the balmy breezes kiss my cheeks.
Welcome to Key West Florida , the crown jewel and farthest tip of land that is still the United States . Cuba is 94 miles
west from the tip of the key and the tropics beckon their siren call. The city of Key West is in Monroe county Florida
and its namesake island, the part of Stock Island North of U.S # 1. It is the southernmost city in the continental United
States and 129 miles southeast of Miami . Come with me, your guide Joseph Mellon for a tour of this wonderful city.
We have naval air station Key West and this is why it was chosen as the Winter White House of President Truman,
and the naval air station is an important year round training site for Naval aviation and we can see and hear the
Phantom F4's piercing the light blue sunset skies above the Key.
Let us stroll down Duval street in the heart of the cities business and commercial district and experience its charm.
Duval street has many charming restaurants, bars, shops, inn's and I especially am fond of "Sloppy Joe's Bar" at 201
Duval street, Key West, Florida. Sloppy Joes has been around since 1933
when prohibition was appealed and Joe Russel used to get visits from our Mutual friend Ernest Hemingway, who lived
over on Whitehead st, and Ernest would buy some of Joe's illicit scotch and the place was then called "the Blind pig"
and later the silver slipper, but they just didnt sound right. It was Hemingway that encouraged the name change to
Sloppy Joe's inspired by Jose Garcia Rio Havana club , selling liquor, ice and seafood. Now Joes is a popular tourist
destination though things are a bit quieter with Mr. Hemingway's untimely passing last year.
I highly recommend this bistro and bar as a place for some fun and delicious seafood and cold beer. Though not on
Duval st, I also recommend "The Green Parrot" bar out on U.S #1. There is also "The Schooner Wharf" bar , The
Schooner Wharf was originally a bar on the Schooner Diamante but later brought ashore to the waters edge where it
has become a very special place.
There is fine dining and nightlife to be found at all these locations in Key West, as well as the fine accommodations
like the Key Lime Inn and other fantastic hotels and reasonably priced motels. Duval Street often has a carnival
atmosphere and everyone gathers at sunset to watch the glorious sunset where Duval touch’s the beach. From its clear
blue waters and dazzling exotic sea life, its Pink Flamingo's and other strikingly beautiful wildlife, its colorful history
and wholesome family entertainment, Key West has something to offer for everyone, the Keys truly are the gateway
to the Caribbean, join me next time as I fly to the Turk and Caico islands for more fun and sun.
To be continued