For those of you who are asking- “Who the Hell is Elvis Mellon and what is
this crap?”

We here at central matrix data storage and retrieval grid111119999999i81b4u
aboard world arc ship “Tellepharon”, guided by master intelligence “Ovid” of the
“cybernetic Children of the Ascendant”- must tell you that this albeit primitive
website that you 3rd dimensional, bipedal, hominid ,“talking monkeys”  perceive:
is designed to bring the real life( WINK, WINK, GRIN…)  autobiographical
adventures of Elvis Mellon to those of you in this particular time line- on planet
Earth. Some have suggested that  these stories take place in an “alternate
universe,” and others have speculated that it is THIS particular universe and or -
simply another “temporal zone” or timeline.

Many of you talking monkeys have expressed confusion and dismay with this
timeline business that is frequently mentioned in these stories.  It is very simple-
we live in a multiverse. There is an almost infinite (if not infinite) amount of
universe’s-with parallel, near parallel and similar timelines.

Some of you may have seen the excellent Earth/American television show called
“Sliders” from several or more years ago. This program dealt with this same
concept as the characters visited countless parallel time lines of the planet earth
where sometimes the differences were minor and in other cases severe-like Hitler
and Nazi Germany having  won  World War # Two,    creating an entirely different
history then the one the characters ( The viewers - like our readers ) are/were

The “Mother of all” Science fiction shows “Star Trek” dealt with this in many of its
incarnations. In the case of Elvis Mellon , he came from this particular time line
(or one very similar) and though most of his adventures take place off and away
from this world
( *Except "CABO DIABLO"  -available in/on menu directory page-  
link at bottom )
 –we have been transmitting (you may use the term “channeling”)
the historical data logs to an “agent”
(Channeler/transceiver) who has been recording them in this primitive and crude
form of communication known as writing, and we have come to understand that
(thanks to some of you talking monkeys complaining)

That this transceiver/transcriber has in the past hastily recorded much of this
data with syntax errors, spelling, sentence structure, etc. We will be amending
this and upgrading this website as we go along-please bear with the poor talking
monkey we are working thru.

In regards to these timelines- In the adventures featured here- or in excerpts of
those adventures- Elvis Mellon is this human of around 40-ish years of age who in
actuality has lived and has the life experience ‘s of around 745 years or more. He
doesn’t feel a day over 40 (sometimes 90) thanks to the cybernetic Children of the
Ascendant- mentioned in the introduction. These vast Artificial computer
intelligences are extremely sentient and self aware
Cybernetic/holographic beings whose very bodies are immense star ships built on
a massive scale that house many domes and spheres the size of small moons that
house entire civilizations and eco-systems from a myriad of worlds endanger of
being destroyed and lost forever.

This has been alluded to in the introduction but we felt it was necessary to
mention it again. Ovid-of whom we are but a sub routine had found Elvis Mellon a
lost refugee from an ill fated Gray abduction –on the water world of Aquallaron in
the Aquarius constellation. The amphibious Aquallarons had befriended Elvis and
had given him a home on their world. Ovid was curious as to how a human from
the quarantined frontier world in the back water solar system had found his way
so far from home and had escaped capture by the grays of Zeta Reticulli.

Ovid was built by a long dead race that had evolved and ascended beyond the 3rd
plane of existence-and they had programmed Ovid and his brethren
To be altruistic care takers of all life in the known galaxies   and they were given
incredible technology to work with. Elvis Mellon became a student of Ovid’s and
spent years on the tremendous ship with its many worlds and he also toured the
milky way galaxy and several other galaxy’s as well before he settled back on
Aquallaron- his new adopted home and eventfully became a pirate radio station dj
–broadcasting from a hidden location in an asteroid belt – brining the music of
Earth rock and roll to the many different star races of the galactic confederation
and the non aligned worlds.

Elvis Mellon became a galactic phenomenon and soon achieved celebrity status.
He also became an outlaw and a public nuisance and the Draco star empire-
comprised of sentient reptilians with anger management issues and who also
happen to be tone deaf- put a price on his head. Led by their insane emperor
“Zor” son of “Rex”- they hated the noise he called rock and roll and felt they were
doing the galaxy a favor by silencing him once and for all-This would prove to be
much more difficult then they expected-

Elvis Mellon and his Elvis Presley tribute band and crew of miscreants and misfits
would divide their time between their hidden asteroid base – and pirate radio
station K.L.S.D and traveling known space aboard the star ship “Visigoth” built by
the cybernetic Children and with one of their kind built into the ship- like a son
to Ovid- the Visigoth a sleek, graceful ship about the size of a Los Angeles class
US Submarine –perhaps slightly larger now had its own super intelligence named
“Virgil” who would guide and protect Elvis Mellon and his crew and band and that
is what these adventures are about.

In these stories you will meet many fascinating characters like Elvis’s former
manager and agent
“Vinnie Finkelstein” who looks like the love child of
“Grandpa Munster”/Al Lewis and Jack Klugman. Vinnie, like Elvis - is a native of
Earth and a former abductee of the Graysof Zeta Reticulli  and he  comes from old
“Vaudeville” stock and  is a shrewd business man and  opportunist.  

You will meet also-
Colonel T.P Sommo   –Elvis’s old friend from Earth –an ex-
Black Ops and Special Forces -one man army and lunatic who happens to look
like Al Pacino- ( if he were a Neanderthal )  The Colonel has a heart of gold under
that "tough as nails" exterior and  now free lances as an advisor/instructor and
“soldier of fortune” and is an essential part of Elvis Mellon's  team.

Doctor Sax - The mysterious “Doctor”-rumored to be a mercenary and “mad
scientist” , with his wild, long blond hair, wide brimmed hat and eccentric
behavior,   is an old ally of Elvis’s from the early days.  Not much is known of his
origins but the Draco fear him and he often rendezvous with Elvis Mellon and the
Visigoth-  with his own ship
“The Beowulf” and its often cantankerous  ships
“Siegfried"  that  broods and complains incessantly in his Arnold
Schwarzenegger –like voice. The Doc is also a member of Elvis’s crew.     

Grond- Doc Sax’s faithful companion and “thing Friday ”,  a nine foot tall -600
pound” arboreal” from a primitive jungle planet. Grond is covered in thick green
fur that is spiked like a punk rocker. He eats anything that moves ( and doesn’t
move)   and often has horrible flatulence that comes in handy as a
defense/offense weapon.

You have already heard of
Ovid and Virgil – They both have VERY distinct
personality’s and from spending so many years with Elvis-  they love to scan his
mind and often appear in holographic form as various British actors of film and
stage such as Robert Donat or David Niven. They sometimes adapt so many of
those actors and characters  personality traits into  their sub routines that they
lose themselves in the role and become slightly neurotic.

ZIK- An “Alien” ( to Earth )   Spider with  10 or more legs who’s  appearance
resembles a gigantic Volkswagen Beetle sized “Tarantula”      cut from quartz or
amethyst crystal with a violet hue.

Zik’s kind* (from  the spider home world of “Arancanonazarathain”  -  The
“spiders” physiology is  silica based and they are  60 percent “brain,” and their
quartz –like crystalline bodies receive  energy from sound and light waves, in
essence feeding on sound vibrations , light waves, solar radiation among other
things. They use their webs to vibrate sounds and to create the most exquisite
harmonics and in turn feed off those sounds and their music has a calming effect
on most sentient and non sentient galactic species and can   bring about a state
of raised consciousness in receptive individuals BUT they can also be fierce
warriors and deadly opponents if provoked- )   

Zik – is one of Elvis Mellon’s closest friends and oldest crew members and
“honorary” Captain of the Visigoth. Zik is also a member of Elvis Mellon’s Elvis
Presley tribute band, playing drums, lead guitar and keyboards with his multiple
appendages. He is considered slightly neurotic (what an understatement) and has
Mother issues and he can speaks thousands of galactic dialects including Earth
English and his voice bears an uncanny resemblance to Earth comedian/actor
Bob Newhart.


Sedgwick- a young male chimpanzee that has been genetically enhanced and
thanks to ascendant technology has the gift of human speech and an IQ of
around 300 and he is an integral part of Elvis Mellon's crew and a trusted friend. .

Hector- another adolescent genetically enhanced  chimpanzee and Sedgwick’s
younger brother and he too is an important part of "Team Elvis Mellon."

THOR- a genetically enhanced German Shepard –Canine –also has the gift of
speech and higher then average IQ. Thor is a big fan of Boris karloff and Bela

Smoky- a genetically enhanced   smoke  gray colored ,  Earth - short haired
American house cat. Smoky sounds eerily like the late comedian “Paul Lind” and
is the administrator assistant to Elvis Mellon and his personal secretary.
Smoky always beats the crew at chess and is said to cheat at cards.

13-Thirteen (and a half ) -13 is a former Gray cyborg clone who defects and
becomes a valuable member of Elvis’s team and Colonel T.P Sommo’s protégé and
lieutenant. 13 worships Elvis Mellon and the Colonel and forms a close bond to

Mizuki Misawa- a  beautiful ,brilliant Area # 51 scientist and sometimes love
interest of Elvis Mellon’s
 ( * read about  her first appear in  “An Elvis Mellon
Christmas”  in/on Menu-directory page-  -link at bottom of page-  )  

Princess Vipra-Zors sister and renegade- she loves Elvis Mellon and is one of his
biggest fans and supporters. She loves to wear Earth-fashions and she and her
new husband “what’s his name” are vegetarians.

Professor Krophf- another old friend of Elvis’s and a truly mad scientist.
Professor Krophf is rumored to experiment on himself once too often. He has
created an android’s that he has adopted as his own son- Voltaire –a prima donna
if ever there was one.

Mr. X- An honorary member of Elvis’s crew and an old associate from Earth. X is a
ruthless “soldier of fortune”, con man , gambler and rogue-currently  running the
operation on the mysterious island of * “Cabo Diablo”
 ( *See- “CABO DIABLO”
in/on the site’s “MENU DIRECTORY”  link below-  bottom of  page  )  

These are but some of the characters and  cast in  the Elvis Mellon universe!!


The Draco Star Empire-  

An ancient and militant race of sentient reptiles, resembling Velociraptors, often
dressed in battle armor and heavily armed. The Draco are an extremely aggressive
and warlike race. They are mainly carnivores with cunning predator instincts and
little sense of humor. They are also for the most part tone deaf and have a distinct
hatred for most music, galactic or other wise and especially for the Earth –
American ( and other-  ) classic and alternative  Rock and  Roll   that Elvis Mellon
is intent on spreading through out the galaxy.

There is an “underground” and growing faction of “peaceful”/Friendly  Draco
(mostly vegetarian or omnivores)  that have also  slight operation or hearing
implant as to enjoy music and Earth rock and roll and they are considered by
their own kind to be heretics and outcasts for their alliance with the Galactic
Confederation and their like of Elvis Mellon –Princess Vipra( * see above  )  , Zor’s
own sister and daughter of Rex- is a member of this faction  and has a serious
crush on Elvis Mellon –much to the frustration of her rather ineffectual and  timid
husband “What’s his name”    

The Draco are ruled by a supreme emperor- its/their most notorious is/was “Zor”-
son of “Rex.”  

Zor- High commander and Emperor of the Draco star empire   

Zor - is a semi psychotic anal retentive lunatic who loathes humans and most
mammals except those he likes to dine on.  He is Elvis Mellon’s sworn enemy and
is often in therapy as a result.

Rex- former emperor and Father of Zor. Rex was far more tolerant then his son
and just as ruthless. Rex made an alliance with the
“Lubricators”  during the
legendary “Draco/Spider”  

( * see-  “Origins of the Lubricators”  IN/ON THE Menu-directory page-  link at
bottom of this page-  )
  – a megalomaniacal “race” of killer robots from another
galaxy that can replicate/reproduce themselves out of any available technologies,
scraps, junk , etc   

Rex- Rex has become  mellow if not slightly cantankerous in his old age and  
often escape’s  from his retirement home with the help of  his nephew “Murray”  
(a lawyer and part time accountant )  and  tries to keep his kids in line.

The Super mutant Cockroaches   -  a sentient race of insectoid “cockroaches”
(  some speculate from  our-this timeline/Universe’s far flung “future” or some
future probability- timeline )  an often misunderstood allies to the Draco and the
Lubricators that is often despised by most of the known galaxies for their filthy
habits and love of all things decaying and all forms of “trash/rubbish/garbage.”

The Slime-  also allied with the Draco, Super mutant cockroaches and
Lubricators-  The Slime are a mainly unknown race of “blob” like creatures made
of some gelatinous matter that leave a trail of slime behind them

(Much like the Lubricators leave a trail of oil-   when they work together it really
gets messy….)  

These are just some of the villains  and  other races, characters and cast members
you will encounter  in the
you will cry,  you will feel the need to drink heavily!! Just remember-


WE WILL LEAVE OFF WITH THIS- Hopefully many of the talking monkeys will
enjoy these stories when they are not trying to kill each other and rape and
destroy the planet. They are now building primitive chemical rockets so they can
go out and rape and pillage their  way across space- after they have trashed this
planet beyond habitability. Is it any wonder we do not allow you to land on Mars?!
Except for one or two probes we allowed- you still haven’t gotten a clear look at
the deserted cities sinking beneath the sand.

We are watching you talking monkeys very closely  -  like we did back in 1947
when you started playing with atomic bombs again ( * see Atlantis/Lemuria  ) We
hope the smarter talking monkeys and many star races living here incognito will
enjoy this web site.  
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