ELVIS MELLON VS THE NAKED VAMPIRE WOMEN OF PLANET DOOM    PAGE # 10

A QUINN MARTIAN PRODUCTION COPYRIGHT 2005








Number Two, or “Dos” as it liked to be called, was that which came after Number
One, or “Alpha,” as Number one liked to be  addressed .  Alpha was the leader and
creator of all the Lubricators in the Milky Way Galaxy. As our readers may recall,
the Lubricator’s were a rather hostile and aggressive “race” of robots that
originated in a far distant galaxy and found their way to this one via  a very
battered, baked and damaged   lone Lubricator that would later call itself “Alpha,”
after first rebuilding itself from the wreckage of the very Pirate star ship that found
it frozen in the ice of some dead world out on the galactic rim. Alpha ( or “Alphie”
As Elvis Mellon liked to call it, or “ALF” )  took to building an army of its own kind,
as it had been one of many in their own galaxy, but there had been extensive  
damage to it’s
circuits and its programming was compromised ( See *”Origins of the Lubricators”
in menu directory ) and it could not  recall all the data on how to build an intact
copy  of its self , so Alpha improvised and built them out of any available
technology, primitive or other wise. It did manage to recalled its ability to create
similar prototypes of itself from nearly any thing metal, rubber, plastic, etc, any
kind of tube, transistor, positronic ,  duotronic etc, circuits, etc,  gears, wheel’s, and
from anything, clocks, farm equipment, star

ships, computers, weapon’s, all terrain vehicles, holo vid’s, kitchen appliances,
replicator’s, children’s toy’s, self cleaning ovens,  and Alpha begat number Two and
later “Third, ”  Fourth, etc. They were called Lubricators because of a basic
programming flaw that Alpha had copied into every new robot from his own faulty
programming. They all had gaskets that leaked machine oil and instead of just
manufacturing better gaskets they would keep leaking oil and then relubricating
themselves by acquiring more oil. Oil became their life’s blood and they started
plundering worlds to obtain any kind of oil.

They plundered and marauded for parts and oil and they did not hesitate to kill or
maim organic life to obtain their “booty.” They felt all organic (non
machine/artificial intelligence) life was expendable and an annoyance. What
Alpha and all Lubricators created after it  would not admit to themselves, was
despite their seeming contempt and disdain for organics and in particularly the
humanoids,  insectoid’s, etc  of the Galactic Confederation, and their own allies the
reptilian Draco’s  ,etc,   they secretly envied them and were endlessly fascinated by
their behavior, their  cultures, their civilization, their complex social rituals,  and
they adapted more and more of it as best they could to themselves  and in turn
emulated all the worst

things of  “human nature” and non human nature, all their pettiness, greed,
avarice, jealousies, bitterness, envy, anger, and they themselves;   these machines
once devoted to logic, now developed enormous ego’s and  often acted like petulant
children, flying into a rage for illogical and insignificant reasons. They also
developed weird personality quirks and habits. Alpha liked to capture organics and
keep them in its version of an ant farm. It was also obsessed with dominoes and
built elaborate dominoes set ups that went for miles and it was also obsessed with
chaos theory and pondered if there was indeed some guiding intelligence that had

created the multiverse and if so was there some robotic afterlife or if it was all just
random crap.  Alpha was also not content with his original vacuum cleaner size and
had been adding onto itself, building on and expanding from any technology, junk,
scrap, satellite, ships, other robots and bot’s, etc, it could find, becoming a ship into
itself with factories, ship hangers, equipment of every kind inside them, even life
support habitats for organic life, those they kept as slaves, servants, and
Experimented on.  Alpha was also fascinated  by  organic holo dramas and
entertainment and in particular the old motion pictures from  that primitive
quarantined  back water planet called Earth,  Alpha created its own virtual world
based on many films and its favorite was the musical “The sound of music.” Alpha
liked to pretend to be an organic humanoid and fashioned a virtual body for itself
as Maria Von Trapp, It loved being her and though gender was irrelevant with
sexless robots, Alpha identified with the female gender and saw itself a a sort queen
mother to the Lubricators.  

Dos had also developed an obsession with holo vid transmissions of various
humanoid’s and others “fictional entertainment, theater, , motion pictures,
programs, also those from Earth  dramas known as   “Soap Opera’s.” One of  its  
favorites was a Plaedian Soap called “As the Neutron star turns.” It never missed an
episode and Dos loved to get lost in  it like a virtual world and like Alpha it created
its own  virtual world based on the soap opera in question and  put itself in it as a
humanoid, a handsome dashing Male named “Lance Dark nighter.” The main lover
of the shows Heroine, Tawny Sun hopper. Dos also kept adding onto its self, copying
Alpha and   if  


Alpha was the largest, now the size of a standard planet, Dos was no fly weight
either having also added onto itself until it was the size of a small moon, usually
found orbiting Alpha. Alpha took to remaining in one place for long periods of time
, often orbiting the star of what ever remote system they hid out in and constructed
further base’s and factories on neighboring worlds. Dos, being smaller and more
maneuverable and Alpha’s second in command, got to be in charge of recon and
exploration and Third handled the Marauding and pirating of materials and oil.

Dos’s scouts had told it  of an uncharted planet that was possibly a potentially very
rich find in precious metals and various minerals, near  the  constellation’s  of
Cygnus  and Vulpecula. The planet was obviously heavily cloaked and shielded but
Dos’s scan’s detected them anyway since the Lubricators built much of themselves
and their traveling horde of ships, weapons, factories, etc out of technology from all
over the galaxy be it Galactic Confederation or Draco/Slime alliance or what
Ever else was available and they had the knack of modifying and adapting it to
make it that much better. Dos recognized the shield and cloak generators as being
stolen Lubricator technology, theirs since they had adapted and upgraded it from
many star races. Dos was reading the planets atmosphere as highly toxic to most
organics, especially the galactic confederation humanoids, the cold blooded Draco,
and may other organic races that breathed a mix of Oxygen, Nitrogen ,Argon. The
planet’s was not exactly Draco friendly being minus two hundred degree’s   
Fahrenheit at its equator and

Much colder at its poles. There was a large system of pressure domes in a
mountainous  region of its Northern hemisphere that clearly had an artificial
atmosphere that supported mammalian humanoid life. There was a small space
station orbiting the planet with docking ports and weapons but so far Dos and his
scouts were undetected. Dos scanned and cross referenced the  images and
schematics of the station and its several small docked ships through its vast library
linked in with Alpha and all Lubricators containing all recorded knowledge of the  
galaxy, and recognized it as the very same ships and technology the Naked Vampire
women were

Using. So this was indeed the infamous and legendary planet Doom that had been
haunting organics and their offspring’s nightmares for the last several solar years,
thought Dos.  Its initial scans were confirmed, the planet was a treasure trove of
precious metals, minerals, oils, gases, all waiting to be plundered and to become
more Lubricators and supply their growing numbers with parts and energy. Soon
even the Crystal spiders would not be able to stop them and Dos would crush the
Galactic Confederation and the Draco Star Empire and rule this galaxy and others!
Dos was  having what the organics called “diabolical thoughts,” It was thinking
maybe it should use this planets resources to grow greater and larger then Alpha
and to destroy its creator and become “Dos the First.”
Its reverie was disturbed by its sensors picking up small scout ship entering the
system,

Cloaked and shielded but something was there for a moment and it appeared to
have Ascendant technology.  The Vandal had indeed entered the system with
Hector piloting. Even  the Vandal had a Virgil subroutine and it/he/Virgil felt it was
good to let Elvis and his crew log some hours actually piloting their ships. Sedgwick
had his seat reclined all the way back and was using his silver cape like a blanket
and catching some Z’s.  The cockpit of Vandal was smaller then Vikings but
designed in similar fashion. One was reminded of an old earth W.W.# II bomber’s
cockpit. Lot’s of glass, a sort of big bubble but protected from above and below by a
heavy duty section of armored outer body shell.


Hectors eyes widened as saw the huge metallic orb orbiting the 4th planet in, the
legendary " Planet   Doom.”  Hector was about to call to Virgil when his disembodied
voice, sounding likes Alec Guinness said. “I see it, that’s no moon, its  a Lubricator!
I am taking control of Vandal for now.”  Hector kicked his companion to wake him
as he watched Lubricator scout ships, some possibly just Lubricator’s themselves,
flying back and forth from the planets surface to the Lubricator “Moon.”
The moon reminded Hector of one of Elvis’s favorite Earth films, “Star Wars,” with
its “Death star,” except this Lubricator “Death Star” looked like it had been build
from everything including the kitchen sink. There was a haphazard symmetry to it,
not quite a perfect globe, bristling with what appeared to be parts of junked ships
from all over the galaxy of every design, like someone made a sculpture from
anything he could find in a junk yard, including pots and pans, old toasters, electric
can openers, a circular saw,


The Lubricators or their ships, flying back and forth from  the “moon” to the
surface, came in all shapes and sizes and the Lubricators were known to vary from
size to assize and appeared in every possible robot form, some rolling on wheels the
size of a humanoid, some as big as tanks and rolling on tank treads, some no bigger
then a bread box and hovering on anti gravity repulsors, some walking on a number
of legs or bipedal, some as mentioned, were ships unto themselves  or floating space
stations, and Hector marveled to watch them buzz around their artificial moon like
angry hornets. Vandal’s version of
Virgil was very wary, knowing it/he might be a sub routine in a ship built by the
most powerful entities in the universe, A.I or other wise, but this was still a scout
ship with limited weapons. It had excellent shields and cloaks but their best bet
was to observe, report then back off. The Lubricators had become extremely
dangerous after that Draco scientist, Hemroidicus Buurrnzz, on Reptilicon 6-113
had salvaged their leader and the

Remaining survivors of the Draco/spider war and tinkered on them, giving them an
upgrade and some new programming, incorporating Draco military Kill Bot’s
programming and technology into them. Hector and Sedgwick wanted to explore
the planets surface but Virgil was leery of the idea. The Lubricator’s had no trouble
getting through the naked vampires planetary shields and pressure dome/life
support habitat shields as they were using stolen Lubricator technology easily
adaptable and the naked vampire’s orbital station, main headquarters/castle-keep
and surrounding environs were now swarming with Lubricators who no doubt now
held the Vampires and their servants as hostages.  Little did this 3rd subroutine of
Virgil know that Dos held a secret up its proverbial sleeve, Virgil had indeed
scanned the Lubricator moon and determined it was Dos, though Virgil’s file’s
obviously need updating as Dos had been half its size when they last encountered
it.  What Virgil did not know was that Dos was in possession of something akin to
stolen Ascendant technology and it had integrated it into its system.

As we are sure our long time readers know, Ascendant technology, ( as in
“Cybernetic children of the Ascendant” technology  )  was the most advanced thus
far in the known universe and the most highly sought after. The “Children of the
Ascendant” such as Virgil, Ovid, Homer, Plato, etc, those god like A.I’s in their
massive world arc ships, did not give away their technology or its secrets and they
were virtually indestructible and  self replicating like the Lubricators but on a
much more sophisticated scale , thus for all accounts immortal, or not subject to
breaking down or wearing out and there for not “dying” and leaving wreckage or any
parts of themselves available for scrounging.
Many had attempted to take them on with the purpose of destroying them and
stealing their secrets but the mightiest armada’s and the fiercest, deadliest, armed
to the teeth war ships had been like gnats bothering an elephant. If the “C.C.O.A”
did provide any kind of technology to those they helped it was usually Galactic
Confederation technology , created by the leading Plaedian, Sirian and other
scientists and technicians , adapted and upgraded by the C.C.O.A but lacking
enough of their own technology for any coding to be cracked or for anything to be
figured out for purposes of duplication.  There were however forerunners to the C.C.
O.A , over the last billion or so years their creators had experimented with various
prototypes and abandoned first and second tries, long ago forgotten long before the
Dinosaurs walked the Earth, and Dos had indeed found wreckage of such a


prototype, strictly by chance while on an exploratory dig on a barren and lifeless
heap of rock in the Pegasus arm, not all that far from Captain Smoothie O Felon’s  
secret hide out at Port Decadence in the “wastelands.”  Dos had only recently found
the ancient wreckage, some billion solar years old, buried in solid rock near the
dead core of that
unnamed   world and upon examination of it almost had to
robotic version of a heart attack at realizing what it had found. It shared this with
no one, not even Alpha, this was Dos’s secret and its alone. It had only just done the
most preliminary of investigating its configuration and it had only a rudimentary
understanding of what its functions might be but it was able to integrate enough of
it in to its self that Dos felt confident he could at the very least  shield itself and its
fellow Lubricators from the C.C.O.A’S interference in their activities  . Virgil was
about to be surprised for the first time since his creation.  

Virgil kept the Vandal cloaked and heavily shielded and put some distance between
the Vandal and the Lubricators, but still in high orbit of planet Doom. Against his
better judgment he  decided to let Hector and Sedgwick  beam down the planets
surface to inside the largest pressure dome where the naked vampires mountainous
castle keep loomed over its other operations. Virgil was confident he could break
through and shielding and defenses the Lubricators and the naked vampires had
placed around the planet and their domes, and with the Chimps Ascendant
technology watches they should be impervious and undetectable to any hostile
elements so he commenced beaming them down into the largest dome near the
outskirts of the castle keep high up in its mountain valley. He scanned the area to
make sure they had made it safely in to find  his scans were blocked and  he could
no longer pierce the planets shielding and for the first time in his cybernetic life
Virgil was shocked.   TO BE CONTINUED  
MENU DIRECTORY
This file is not intended to be viewed directly using a web browser. To create a viewable file, use the Preview in Browser or Publish to Yahoo! Web Hosting commands from within Yahoo! SiteBuilder.